She deserves fucking everything.
As soon as I’m finished, we collapse together, tangled and sweaty.
Georgia is the first to speak, nestling in between Brody and me. “Please just don’t leave me,” she whispers, wrapping her arms around both of us.
Brody and I both answer in unison.
“Never.”
Chapter 25
Miles
Ican still catch a flight later today, if needed.
I stare down at the drafted text message on my phone and wish I could erase the sick feeling settling in my gut at the sight of it. My thumb hovers over thesendbutton, but I don’t click it.
“You’re going to break that thing in half if you’re not careful,” Georgia’s voice comes out of nowhere.
I wince at my white knuckles and force myself to loosen my grip on the screen, turning to her. “It wouldn’t be the worst thing if I broke it.” I eye her as she steps up beside me. It’s been twenty-four hours since she overheard me planning to return to New York.
And don’t get me wrong, Ialmostjetted off last night. But I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.
She leans against the railing, hugging her sweater tighter around herself. I take in the way her blonde hair drifts in the breeze, and the way she looks so fucking irresistible.
“You’re up early,” she says, gesturing to the sunrise.
“That’s because I never really went to bed.” I force the truth out but then follow with a partial truth. “Casework shit ever ends.”
She studies me, blue eyes sharpening. “You didn’t have to make up excuses, you know. If you’d rather be somewhere else, just… say so.”
I blink, caught off guard. “That’s not?—”
“You’re allowed to leave,” she says, but her voice falters. “If you want to. It’s not like anyone’s going to hold you down.” She lets out a bitter laugh and I can see the hurt etched into her forced smile.
But still, I can’t tell if she wants me to argue or if she’s giving me an out. The silence stretches, the only sound the low slosh of water against the hull.
I close my eyes for a moment and shake my head. “That’s the problem,” I sigh, voice scraping the inside of my throat. “I don’t want to go… but I’m not exactly a pro atthis.”
She nods, her lips pressed into a line. “I see…”
I look away, and as I zone out looking at the water, the truth comes bubbling up to the surface. “I’ve always been good at controlling things. Work, school, my personal schedule.” I run a hand through my hair, suddenly conscious of the bedhead I haven’t bothered to fix. “If something starts to hurt, I file it away. Tidy it up. Fix it or walk away. I’m not big on taking risks I haven’t thoroughly assessed first.”
Georgia doesn’t miss a beat. “Is that what you’re doing with us?” she asks, biting down on her thumbnail. “Filing me away? Because it got too risky?”
“I might’ve been trying to,” I admit. “But I can’t. I’ve never been this out of control in my life. This is… this is just crazy, what we’re doing.” And I mean that, itisfucking crazy. It sounds so perfect when you’re trapped on a boat, but when Robert and Catherine came blazing in, the reality of it kind of knocked me upside the head.
Georgia runs a hand along the rail and catches my gaze, holding it. “Why does it scare you so much?”
I want to answer with something clever, something self-deprecating—something funny like Emmett. But it sticks in my throat and comes out sideways, the sad truth slipping out without hesitation. “The last time I let my guard down, someone died.”
Georgia takes a small step closer with widened eyes, her proximity close enough to make my chest constrict.
“It’s complicated,” I say, but then I don’t follow continue.
“You don’t have to tell me,” she replies, shrugging. “It’s okay if you don’t want to, but I’d really like to know.”
I nod, hesitate, but then take the risk. “Way too many years ago,” I begin, forcing myself not to break eye contact, “I was a sophomore at Harvard. I met a girl named Claire at the freshman orientation dance. She was wild—black hair, leather jacket, zero patience for bullshit.” I try to smile, but it comes out as a grimace. “We snuck out the fire escape and split a bottle of shitty Merlot behind the quad. She kissed me first. That was her way with everything. First, and all in. She was the first woman I ever fell for.”
