“I wanted to see how long it would take you to admit your feelings. I’m surprised it took this long. But him being your patient isGrey’s Anatomylevel hot.”
Her reference makes me chuckle. “It’s far more complicated in real life. But I’m no longer on his care team. I stepped away once I realized I had feelings.”
Saying it out loud still stings. It was the right decision, but sometimes doing the right thing doesn’t feel good. Kayla’s expression softens, gossip giving way to understanding. “Is he the reason you’ve been a bit quieter all day?”
“It’s all new, so I'm having a hard time processing my feelings.”
“Does he know how you feel?”
I twist a pack of skate laces in my hands, giddiness bubbling up. “I think so. We’ve talked and agreed that it’s not just a fling.”
“So, what’s worrying you? Are you afraid you’ll leave and he’ll forget you? Or that you’ll be the one to forget him?”
“Neither,” I admit. My chest tightens thinking about it. “It’s that I finally found something really good, and I’m walking away from him. Even if it’s temporary, it feels as if the universe is testing me.”
Kayla hums thoughtfully and sips her drink. “Ivy, you’re not walking away. You’re walkingtowardyour goals and another Ice Cross season. You’ve earned your place in the Circuit. Following your dreams doesn’t mean you’re abandoning him.”
I’m grateful for the steadiness she offers. “How are you so wise?”
“Michigan air. It builds character.” We laugh, some of my worry about the few next months lifting. She reaches for the checklist. “Let’s finish this prep and order food. You need at least one night of spicy noodles and emotional avoidance.”
“Deal. But I swear, no extra spicy chili dumplings. I haven’t recovered from last time.”
“Wimp,” she teases. “Don’t forget to add another pair of wool socks to your list. Don’t you remember how the cold seeps into your bones in Nagano?”
I scribble it down, mentally thanking whatever stars aligned to bring Kayla into my life. She’s a friend I never knew I was missing. Someone who understands what the Circuit life takes and shows up with her whole damn heart.
While I make a new updated checklist, my thoughts drift to Teddy. I already miss him and the sense of safety I’ve only just started to believe in. On the other hand, I’ve worked too hard for too long, to let anything derail this season and he wouldn’t want me to stay.
So why does leaving feel nearly impossible?
Later in the evening, Thai food containers are half-empty on the coffee table and my gear’s been repacked twice over. We’ve officially reached the movie night stage of our girls’ night. Kayla scrolls through the selection, searching for a hidden gem but we’ll eventually agree on rewatching one of her favorites.
“The chances are you’ll complain anyway. You never want to watch the same movies I do,” she mutters.
“I’m too tired to complain.”
Kayla side-eyes me. “You say that now, but the second I put on a movie with subtitles?—”
“Anything but foreign films.”
“Fair,” she draws out the word, then gasps dramatically. “Snakes on a Plane?”
“I swear we watched it at least ten times last season.”
“It has exotic snakes, bad guys, and Samuel L. Jackson with one of the best lines in cinematic history. What more do you need?”
I shake my head in disbelief, trying not to laugh at the irony. “You seem to forget how you’re afraid of snakes and flying, but still religiously watch a movie about you guessed it—snakes and flying!”
“Totally a different thing,” she waves a hand dismissively and clicks play. We’re curled up on opposite ends of the couch, legs tangled in the middle. My mug has been refilled with hot chocolate and two more shots of Baileys. It’ll keep me warm and cozy.
Twenty minutes in, I’m reciting half the dialogue under my breath. Kayla throws Reese's Pieces at me.
“Stop it. You’re ruining the experience.”
“You mean this masterpiece of American cinema?”
“You’re lucky I tolerate you.”
