“You guys are looking good this season,” Jasper comments after a stretch. “Even Foster is pulling off plays with purpose behind them.”
“Don’t tell him that. Otherwise, his ego won’t fit in the locker room.”
“He always was cocky. Now he’s cocky and competent. What a dangerous combo.”
I chuckle and watch Hugo go ahead, while Rollo trots beside his owner like a four-legged shadow. “So how are things on the other side of the bridge? Besides your coach realizing you’re not a team of miracle workers.”
“Things couldn’t be any better. I actually had something to tell you.”
“What’s up?”
“I’m going to propose to Vivian this Christmas. It’s our third anniversary, so it feels right.”
I stop and pull him into a tight hug, clapping his back before we step apart. “No way, man! Congrats.”
“Thanks. We’ve been talking about getting married in the same church where my parents did, and they had a cancellation for next July. I had planned the proposal months ago, and the email came last week. Now I get to surprise Vivian with her dream ring and a summer wedding." Jasper shifts his weight onto one foot, hands in his pockets. “My sister is close friends with a renowned wedding planner who’ll help us.”
“Look at you being all sure she’ll say yes.”
“No doubts about it. She’s the one, man.”
“Damn, when did you get so soft? Proud of you, though,” I comment, thinking about how things are moving forward for people around me. “You found a great one.”
Jasper’s smile softens. “The best.”
We start moving again, slowing the pace to a brisk walk. Hugo sniffs at a trash can and Rollo bounds ahead, his big ears flapping as he chases a pigeon.
“It’s wild,” I say after a moment. "Feels like only yesterday we were living off protein shakes and takeout, praying the landlord wouldn’t notice the giant crack in the living room window from our indoor hockey game. Which is stupid, considering we both made enough to replace the glass a hundred times over."
He chuckles. “You were the one who broke it if I remember correctly.”
“You wanted to be a goalie with couch cushions as padding. It makes you equally guilty.”
“Another reason why I’m not an actual goalie.”
It’s glaringly obvious that Jasper is no longer the same guy he was when we shared an apartment, staying up late to rewatch game tape or partying together. This more mature version of him has grown roots and has a bright future with Vivian. I couldn’t be happier for him, because my friend deserves the best.
“How’d you know?” I ask. “That she was it for you?”
Jasper doesn’t answer right away, keeping his eyes on Hugo. “She’s made everything lighter from the moment we met. I’ve never struggled to be understood when I'm with her. She also loves every part of me, no matter what.”
The words stir feelings buried deep beneath all the walls I’ve built to avoid the disappointment of caring for people who don’t reciprocate. Looking away, I swallow the tight lump rising in my throat.
Will anyone ever feel the same way about me? Or am I meant to drift through life without romantic love?
Lately, I’ve been wondering about what it would mean to have a lasting relationship. Not another hookup or a fleeting distraction, but one where someone sees every messed-up part of me and chooses to stay. However, as long as I keep baiting my father to prove he can’t control me, nothing is going to change. I won’t bring another person into the fucking mess I have created.
Rollo veers off the path to roll in a patch of grass, taking my mind away from the depressing thoughts. He flops onto his back with all four legs in the air. Jasper whistles sharply, the sound carrying in the wind. The dog immediately jumps up and bounds over as if nothing happened.
“Anyway,” Jasper comments. “No matter what jerseys we wear, you’ll always be my brother. I want you to stand beside me on my big day.”
His words hit me square in the chest. “Holy shit. Of course I will. If and when Vivian says yes, I’m locking in the best man's speech.”
“She already said yes, but doesn’t know it yet.”
“I'd better start taking notes on how to give a perfect speech,” I joke.
Rollo’s bark echoes as he chases after Hugo, stealing our focus. My friend jogs ahead to rein them in, his laugh carrying easily through the cold. I stay a step behind, watching him move toward a bright future that already belongs to him, wishing it could be me one day soon.
