“You idiot,” I whisper softly, pressing the heel of my hand to my chest. “You have no idea how proud I am of you.”
A small, self-conscious laugh escapes him. “Guess we’re both idiots then. Proud idiots.”
As the recordings stack up, I get glimpses of everything: his frustration with his parents’ PR team, his Uncle Jake cheering him on from afar, and his soft confession about buying coconut-scented products to keep me close. My breath catches at that one, another ache blooming inside me. He wanted me so near he tried to smell like me.
By the time I reach January 31, his voice has shifted to be more thoughtful.“They used to call me the bad boy of hockey. What a fucking cliché…I’m glad I’m not that guy anymore. I like to think it’s because of you…Fuck, Ivy, what a fucking fool I have been.”
He truly has changed. He wanted to be better and he now is. The road to this point has been anything but easy, but Teddy did all that for himself and for us.
“I love you, too, Theodore. I love you so much,” I whisper into the quiet of the car after his first love confession. “I’ll cherish having the moment you realized the depth of your feelings captured for as long as I live.”
Beside me, his breath hitches and his words come out thick with emotion. “You have no idea what it does to me, hearing you say you love me.” He leans closer, brushing his lips over the back of my hand in a feather-light kiss. “I’m the luckiest bastard alive.”
The last recording is from March 19. His voice shakes as he admits,“tomorrow is the day I finally give them my final decision; Iwon’t play hockey anymore…I don’t know how to say farewell tohim, to Teddy who skated like he owned the ice.”
I close my eyes, gripping the phone so tight my knuckles ache. His grief is palpable, but then his tone gentles in an instant.“But when everything else feels off, there’s one thing I can hold onto. One person.You.Every single night, I wish for you.Not the ice. Not my team. Not the crowd. Just you.”
That undoes me completely. My tears spill unchecked, my heart shattering and healing all at once. I pull the earbuds out, clutching the phone to my chest like it’s the most precious thing I’ve ever held. My hand finds his, squeezing tight, like if I press hard enough I can fuse us together, make up for every second we were apart.
“You—” My words crack in half. “You were talking to me all along.”
Teddy’s thumb brushes gently over my wet cheek, catching a tear before it can slide away. The tenderness of the act only makes me cry harder.
“I didn’t want you to feel guilty,” he says. “The notes were originally for me. I needed them to survive every stifling moment. But now they’re for us.”
I slide across the seat and crash into him, kissing him messily, desperate for him. He kisses me back passionately, his hand cupping my jaw as though he’s afraid I’ll disappear. My tears smear between us, salty on our lips, but neither of us cares.
When we break apart, foreheads pressed together, I whisper against his lips, “Never again. No more silence.”
“No more silence,” he echoes, the vow rumbling low from his chest, strong enough to settle in my bones. I curl into his side,tucking myself beneath his arm. With his heartbeat steady under my cheek, I close my eyes and let the road carry us home.
48
TEDDY
MARCH 26
The past few days with Ivy have been some of the best of my life. We’ve spent nearly every waking moment together. Ivy isn’t back at work until next week, and I’ve been greedy with her time—filling it with talks that last late into the night, sex that leaves us both wrecked, and silences that don’t feel empty anymore.
Her toothbrush has found its own place in my bathroom and I even cleared out a drawer in my dresser for her clothes. She argued, said it wasn’t necessary, but I wanted her things here.
With surgery looming tomorrow, I planned a special treat before another stretch of recovery steals away our normal. I called Em two days ago and asked her help to pull off the surprise. She laughed at first, thinking I was joking when I said I wanted to rent out Ivy’s favorite bar and restaurant for the evening. But she quickly realized I was serious.
“Leave it to me, Teddy Boy,” she said, and within a few hours, everything was arranged. It cost more than I expected, but that doesn’t bother me. I can afford to splurge on her. Myinvestments keep paying out, even if I’m no longer pulling the kind of salary I once did in the League.
Now as we head to the restaurant, my fingers laced through Ivy’s, I’m filled with nerves. I’ve kept quiet all day, only telling her to dress up for our first official date. She teased me, demanding hints, even tried bribing me with kisses and other favors. I didn’t crack.
We stop and she inhales sharply as the faint music drifts through the open car door. Neon Dagger isn’t some high-end steakhouse or a Michelin star name my parents’ friends would recognize. But Ivy mentioned that it was her comfort spot.
“Teddy. What did you do?”
“It’s all ours tonight.”
“You rented out the entire Neon Dagger?”
Shrugging, I try to play it cool, though my pulse is anything but steady. “What’s the point of having all that money if I can’t use it to make you smile?
She laughs, but it breaks on a choked sob, and suddenly her arms are around me. “You’re impossible,” she murmurs into my chest. “Thank you.”
