“You can be honest with us. What’s really going on?” Max asks.
“We keep missing each other,” I tell them, my fingertip tracing the rim of my glass. “Nothing feels right. And I miss him more than I can handle most days.”
Dean gives me a soft look he’d deny if I ever mentioned it. “Why don’t you call him again later?”
“I have tried. It’s like we’re on different planets or something.”
Max nudges my elbow. “Missing someone isn’t a weakness, Ivy.”
“I know.” Swallowing the lump rising in my throat, I shove back my chair and grab my coat. “I need air.”
“But don’t you—” Max starts, Dean’s eyes moving between us.
“Don’t follow me. I mean it.”
To my surprise, my brothers listen and don’t stop me.
Outside, the chill hits instantly. Fresh snow crunches under my winter boots as I wander the nearly empty streets of the holiday village. I pull my coat tighter over my upper body and breathe in the cold until it hurts a little—a good kind of hurt that reminds you you’re alive.
“I miss you, Theodore,” I whisper in the winter evening, my voice barely audible. “I really do.”
I take my phone out, thumb hovering over his name in my recent calls. I don’t press it. Not because I don’t want to, but because I want to so much it scares me. I don’t trust myself to sound steady, and I don’t want to put that additional weight on him. He needs to focus on his recovery instead of my stupid tears.
Before I can overthink it, I scroll toMamma Campbellin my contacts and press call. She picks up on the second ring. “Ivy, everything okay?”
“Yeah,” I say automatically, even though the word comes out too thin to fool anyone. “I just…wanted to hear your voice.”
“Oh, sweetheart,” Mom mutters softly, like she already knows. “Tell me what’s going on.”
My breath fogs in the air. “I miss him so damn much,” I admit, because there’s no point trying to be tough with her. “And I hate the distance. We keep missing each other’s calls and it feels like I’m always one step behind or one step ahead.”
She hums soothingly like she used to do when I cried over scraped knees and teen drama. “Love doesn’t care about time zones, Ivy.”
“I know,” I whisper, blinking fast. “It’s just that every time I see his name on my screen, I feel like I can finally breathe. And then it’s a missed call, a short text or another voicemail. I’m trying so hard not to let it get to me.”
“But it does, because it matters.”
A tear slips down my cheek before I can swipe it away. “Yeah. It does.”
“Distance is a bitch, but it’s only temporary. You’re bothfighting for something important right now,” Mom murmurs, voice thick with sympathy.
“I just hate feeling this vulnerable and off-balance.”
I wish I was one of those people who handles long-distance with grace instead of coming undone over a few missed calls. But every time the phone rings and it isn’t him, it feels like a bruise getting pressed again.
“You’re allowed to feel all of that. Missing someone you love doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.”
“Max said something similar.” I smile, even as my lips tremble. “When he and Dean tried to pry more information out of me.”
She laughs softly. “Your brothers adore you. Meddling in your business is practically their love language.”
“Ple-eeease tell them to keep their opinions to themselves. I’m begging here.”
“I’ll pass along the message,” she promises after another laugh. “But Ivy…don’t shut them out. And don’t shut Teddy out either. Just because the timing is rough doesn’t mean the connection is.”
I’m so grateful for her and how she always seems to know exactly what to say to pull me back from the edge. I don’t tell her that enough.
“Thanks, Mom. You always know what to say. Love you.”I really do.
