A smile touched his lips as he pictured Sophia sitting at the pianoforte, playing it with her eyes closed, humming to the melody that she adapted and made up as she went. When he had first met her, she was so precise with how she played, so damn careful to play the music as written. Scared, he had always thought, to give herself over to the music and let herself go.
By the time that she left him, she was a different woman entirely. She became one with the music, opening her heart, letting the melody and music flow from somewhere deep inside of her. She had wanted freedom and nowhere was it given more than when she played.
Despite himself, Gabriel closed his eyes, and he could hear her playing as if she was there. The silent music filled him completely, expanding his heart so it might burst, wrapping him like a thick blanket in the middle of winter. He missed his wife… dammit, how he missed her.
“There you are.” A hand landed on his shoulder and Gabriel started. “Did you not hear me calling you?”
Alexander Sommerton had come from nowhere. Likely, one of the staff let him in, and it was just as likely that they warned him that Gabriel might not be himself. They had avoided Gabriel this last week, which he could not blame them for.
“Oh… Sommerton.” Gabriel shook his head to clear it, spared a final look of longing for the pianoforte, and turned from the room. “I wondered who that was.”
“Lucky I was not committed to burglary,” Sommerton joked. “I might have made off with half the manor before you realized what was going on.”
“Probably,” Gabriel sighed.
Sommerton leaned back and frowned at his best friend. “Ah, so it’s even worse than I thought. What a tragedy.”
“Worse than you thought… what are you talking about?”
“What do you think?” Sommerton said. “I have heard what happened between you and Sophia. Or rather, I guessed what happened.”
“What? How do you know that?” Gabriel demanded. He hadn’t told anyone what had occurred between himself and Sophia, and he was certain that she wasn’t going around the ton telling people.
“My unparalleled detective skills, is how,” Sommerton said. Gabriel’s frown deepened and Sommerton looked at him flatly. “Your walk with Lady Clarissa Harwood earlier this week. You were seen, Gabriel, and considering how subtle you were not being, well…” He shrugged. “People are talking.”
“They are?” Gabriel’s stomach twisted with guilt.
“Rumors, mostly,” Sommerton confirmed. “Nothing substantial. But I know you, so I put the pieces together and figured that something had happened. Why do you think I am here?”
“To annoy me, I assumed.”
“To see how you are getting on.” Sommerton rested his hand on Gabriel’s shoulder and squeezed it. “I know what you wanted me to believe about your marriage, but you forget how well I know you, man. So, tell me, how are things?”
In the moment, with how he was feeling, Gabriel very nearly told Sommerton everything. That he had feelings for Sophia. That he was too much of a coward to admit them to her. That he would rather be alone and miserable than take a chance on love for the first time in his life.
The words were right there…
He hesitated to speak them. Looking into his friend’s kind eyes, Gabriel felt a surge of embarrassment. Still, he could not say outloud how he felt, and still he felt a need to lie about who he was as if that was something to be proud of.
I really am broken…
“I am fine,” he said with a shrug. “Better than fine, in fact.”
“Is that right?” Sommerton did not sound as if he believed it.
“As you know, I married Sophia for an express purpose. That purpose was achieved, and we both decided that because of this, there was no point to continue with a circumstance that neither of us wished for in the first place.” He shrugged again, this time with enough force to dislodge Sommerton’s hand. “I am perfectly happy, as is Sophia, I am sure.”
Sommerton eyed him skeptically. “I am glad to hear it.”
“You know me…” Gabriel chuckled weakly. “I never was one for married life, Sommerton. It’s the bachelor life for me, always, and quite honestly, I am thrilled to return to it. I’ve…” He swallowed. “I have missed it.”
“What of Lady Clarissa? Are you two…”
“What?” His eyes widened. “Gosh, no. She is just a friend.”
“That is good to hear.” Sommerton clapped his hands together. “And truly, I had hoped that would be the case. I have missedyou, old friend. You remember the trouble we used to get up to.” He laughed and winked with joy.
“It has been too long.”
