Make a plan for today. Keep yourself busy. Remember why you have been single your entire life and why this marriage was never supposed to work.
It had been less than a month since they married but Gabriel struggled to remember what he used to do before he and Sophia wed. How had he spent his time? How had he kept busy? What was it like to be single? He had no idea.
So it was that he spent the morning drifting aimlessly through the house.
Again, he ran through their argument, and again he told himself he had done the right thing. In fact, he tried to find a semblance of anger somewhere within, convinced that Sophia had manipulated him. If she had just let things go as they were going, this never would have happened.
Why did she ambush me like that? We were in a good place. She must have known what I would say. What did she expect to happen?
It wasn’t even midday yet and Gabriel found himself standing in a random room of the house, turning on the spot, no idea what to do with himself. He had work he could focus on but could not bring himself to do it. He had friends he could visit, but the idea of doing such reviled him. He could read. He could go for a ride. He could do anything that he wanted!
Sadly, as he was starting to realize, he did not want to do any of those things. Not alone. Not without someone to come home to, to talk to his day about, to enjoy the company of. He had not realized how much he coveted Sophia’s company, and now that he no longer had it, his entire world felt like a castle built on sand.
Gabriel had changed. And this new version, that which he did not want but could not escape from, missed his wife. It really was that simple.
“Your Grace, you have a visitor.” The butler stood in the doorway to Gabriel’s office.
Gabriel snapped his head up, an unexpected flutter of excitement rippling through his body. He had been trying to work all day, convinced that if he sat down at his desk and forced himself, that he would be able to forget his mood and move on.
It was not going well.
“A visitor?” Gabriel perked up… hope felt deep in his core. It was stupid, and he knew it was impossible, but he dared to imagine that it might be Sophia. “Who is it?”
“It is Lady Clarissa Harwood, Your Grace,” the butler said.
“Oh…” Gabriel slunk down in his chair, his good mood plummeting as quickly as it had come on.
“Shall I tell her that you are busy?”
He very nearly said yes. With his mood the way it was, the last thing Gabriel wanted was to spend time with anybody. And seeing as he and Lady Clarissa had a history, he knew too how fraught with danger such a situation would be. And… how wrong.
But why would it be wrong? Technically, I can spend time with whom I want. I do not need permission. I do not need to feel guilty. Sophia was the one who left, not the other way around.
It was funny to think, but there was a time not so long ago where spending time with a single lady was exactly what Gabriel would do to make himself feel better. He was known for it. A rake of the highest order, the actions of a scoundrel were synonymous with his name. Dammit, he used to enjoy that about himself.
Deep down in the darkness that was his soul, he had no desire to return to that state of being. He wanted to wallow in self-pity and malign himself for his actions. But he also wanted to move on, to forget Sophia, and to remember what life used to be like. He wanted to return to his old self again… or so he kept telling himself.
Gabriel had no designs on Lady Clarissa. What had once excited between them both amounted to little more than a fling, and now they were merely friends, as well as doing some business together. He was sure too that she knew this, and her reason for being here had everything to do with this business.
She is a friend is all, and a friend is exactly what I need right now.
“No, no,” Gabriel told the butler. “Tell her I will be down in one moment.”
“Your Grace.” The butler bowed and hurried from the room.
Gabriel took a moment then to center himself. To remind himself of who he was. He did not need Sophia. He did not need her permission for anything. And he certainly did not need to think about her and what she would say if she learned that Lady Clarissa was here to see him.
Once he was ready, he made his way downstairs.
Lady Clarissa stood in the foyer waiting for him. She was dressed in half-dress, the type that would be worn to a garden party or a promenade. She was a beautiful woman, and she knew it. Fully lips. Sparkling eyes. A curvaceous body that she used to full effect. Once, Gabriel had coveted and enjoyed it in equal measures. Now… he really did not care.
“Lady Clarissa,” he greeted grandly as he started down the staircase. “This is a surprise.”
“A pleasant one, I hope.” She beamed when she saw him coming, and when he reached the bottom of the staircase she swept toward him. “I meant to send word ahead but thought I would take a chance that you are not busy.”
“You caught me at a good time.” He took her hand and planted a kiss on the back.
“Wonderful,” she said with a smile that was knowing, as if she somehow knew…No, that is impossible.“I assumed that you might be preoccupied with your wife.”
