“And why would I not want to admit such a thing?”
“Because doing so would be to admit your failings, and I doubt one with a reputation such that you have would dare to do such a thing as that…” He winked. “You play well, but lifelessly. You know this to be fact.”
“I…” Sophia felt it again… anger, she was sure. But she was careful not to let it show, because that would not do. “I disagree.”
“I am not surprised,” he said simply. “Will you admit, at least, that music is about more than the notes and the order in which they are played and arranged?”
“That is precisely what music is.”
He sighed and shook his head. “It is so much more than that. It is…” He considered and his smile grew as he touched his chest. “It is a feeling. It is life given sound. It is passion breaking through perception so that the only way to contain it – no, to let it shine, is to play it as youfeelit in your soul.”
Sophia licked her lips as she tried to ignore the racing of her heart. The Duke’s words were… quite frankly, absurd. And was her father here, he would tell the Duke as much, she was sure of it.
And yet, deep down in the pit of her soul, Sophia knew exactly what the Duke meant. What was more, she knew that feeling well, at times had tried to contain this very feeling, but was always careful not to get too close lest it corrupt her.
“You and I have different opinions on the matter,” she said simply.
He laughed. “Is that all?”
“Is that all? What do you mean?”
“You are not going to argue? Defend your point?” He looked around them and flashed his eyes. “From what I have heard, most here thought your music transcendent, and I am in the minority. That alone should give you reason to fight for your beliefs.”
“I see no need,” she said calmly. “It is impossible to please everyone. That most enjoyed what I played will be enough. And I pray that in time you might change your mind also.”
The Duke laughed further. “I have heard much of you, Miss Sophia. And I am pleased to say that you are exactly as I have been told.”
“I do not…” Sophia frowned at the comment. It sounded like a compliment, and somehow also an insult. “Thank you?”
“You did not ask for my advice, but I feel the need to give it.” He looked around, noticed that they were not being paid attention, and stepped quickly into her. Her eyes widened at the suddenness of the movement, and he dropped his voice as he leaned in close so that she could feel his breath on her skin. “Your composure is unshakable, your poise is perfect, and your self-control is to be admired. But if you ever wish to be great, might I suggestlivinga little. You might be surprised what you learn about yourself, if you so dare to break free of the invisible chains that you wear as if you were born with them.”
He stepped back quicky, and as he looked down at her, he was sure to smile in a way that made her skin break out into goosebumps.
Sophia could not explain what she was feeling exactly, but only because she had never felt anything like it before. What she had thought earlier to be anger, was something else. She was annoyed at the Duke, of course, she was frustrated by his dismissal. But she was curious also, and for reasons she did not understand, she felt an innate desire to prove him wrong.
Her skin tingled at the mere idea of it.
“Thank you for the advice,” she said calmly, ignoring the way her skin prickled and her heart raced. “I will consider what you have said and take it on in future playings.”
He just laughed. “I am sure that you won’t.”
The remainder of the morning unwound in predictable fashion. Sophia sat with her mother and sister as they watched the other guests perform various pieces of music on a range of different instruments. And as they did, Sophia’s mother pointed out their faults and how Sophia could learn from them.
As Sophia listened, she tried her best to ignore what the Duke had said to her.What does he know about anything? Music is written to be performed as is, not improvised, not stylized or changed. If it needed to be fixed, it would be. Surely, precision is what is needed? Not… heart, or what have you.
Still, she found her gaze constantly filtering through the crowd to where the Duke sat toward the back.
He listened with a toothy smile. He nodded his head to the music. He laughed at times. He clapped with enthusiasm. And more than once, he found Sophia watching him. When he did, she looked away, her cheeks flushed red… only for her to glance up again, find him still watching, at which point she would look away.
She could not say why, but the Duke unsettled her. While most of her peers seemed to think of her as the perfect daughter, he judged her for precisely the same reason. He wanted from her the opposite of what she was always told was right.
Do not let him get to you. With a reputation like his, he is the last person you should care about.
“Sophia… Sophia…” Her mother was speaking to her.
“Oh…” Sophia looked up, finding that she had become lost in her own thoughts. “Mother, I am sorry. What…” She blinked. “Is something the matter?”
“You are about to perform again, dear,” she said. “Where is your head at?”
