“I am at a loss,” he chuckled. “You might have to speak more clearly, lest I remain lost forever.”
Her leg was shaking. Her palms were sweaty.Be calm, Sophia. He is only trying to upset you. Do not let him…
“Concerning our…” She cleared her throat, glanced around to make sure they were alone, and dropped her voice. “Concerning our kiss.”
“Our kiss?” he continued to frown.
“Yes…” She widened her eyes at him. “Last evening, when I…” She grimaced. “When I kissed you…” He still looked confused and for a moment, Sophia wondered if the entire thing had been in her head. “You do remember, don’t you? We were outside, arguing, and I… in a moment of… I was not thinking… and that was when I… and you… we…” She stammered through the explanation, more than aware of the sweat forming on her brow.
The Duke broke into a smug grin. “Yes, yes, I remember…” He laughed and shook his head. “I just wanted to hear you say it. And then make you say it again.”
She glared at him. “Whatever for?”
He shrugged. “It amuses me. Clearly, it does not have the same effect on you.”
It took every ounce of self-control that Sophia had to not explode. Where she had spent all morning wrecked with panic, it looked to her eyes that the Duke was not in the least affected by what happened. Did he not care? Or was this just something that happened so often he did not see the point thinking about it?
Sophia took a calming breath, reminding herself why she was here.Get through this and then it will be over. And then you will never have to think about the Duke again.
“I wish to apologize,” she said with much calm. “I was wrong to have done as I did, and I pray that you forgive me.”
“Forgive you?” He leaned back. “Why on earth would I do that?”
She blinked. “Because… because I kissed you without asking. I attacked you –”
“Is that how you see it?” he laughed.
“I was wrong,” she said defiantly. “I should not have done as I did, and I sought you just now to apologize so that we might both put it behind us.” Her defiant gaze softened. “Please, I need us to put this behind us. I can’t… I cannot allow for this to get out. It would ruin me.”
“So, you aren’t sorry at all?”
“What?”
He tilted his head as he looked at her. “It is not forgiveness you seek, but absolution. You said so yourself.”
“Can’t it be both? I did the wrong thing, I admit it. And now I am asking that you both forgive me and see it in your heart to move on.”
“Interesting choice of word,” he mused with a smile. “Heart. Were we not speaking of this just last night? Or rather, your lack of heart and passion? The very reason you sought to…” He chuckled further. “To attack me. As if you needed to prove that I was wrong.”
“That is not why I did it at all.”
“Then why did you?” he asked sharply. “You may apologize. You may beg for forgiveness. But answer me that. Why did you kiss me in the first place?”
Sophia opened her mouth to respond.
In her mind, she had a whole list of reasons. That it was a mistake. That she was not thinking. That the Duke somehow tricked her! But she closed her mouth as those answers filtered through, because not a single one truly explained what had been going through her head at the time.
What does he want me to say? That I wanted to prove him wrong? That his accusations of my reserved nature had me wanting to show him differently? That for the first time ever I stopped trying to present myself as a perfect lady, letting my heart take over, and that was the result?
The Duke chuckled lightly. “As I thought. What you did was not a mistake at all, but a protest. I struck a nerve inside of you and that was the result. A rather surprising one at that.”
“That is not… you do not know…” She stammered pathetically, unable to look at him.
“Would you feel better if I told you how impressed I was?” the Dule continued. “Because I was. Truly, Miss Sophia, I did not think you had it in you.”
“I did not do it to impress you.”
“You did it because you could…” He took a sudden step toward her, and she fought the urge to stumble back. “Because deep down there is a rebellious side of you that has spent a lifetime wanting to be released. You have a reputation, one that is well earned, but it is not who you are. And last night, you proved it.”
