“Sophia?” her mother spoke again. “Are you listening to me?”
Sophia faintly heard her mother’s voice and slowly lifted her head to find her mother standing at the other end of the table looking at her. Not with worry, as one might, but with a sense of annoyance.
“Oh, Mother…” Sophia gave her head a shake. “I did not hear you come in.”
“I suspect the ceiling could have collapsed and you still might not have paid it attention,” she said. “Dare I ask what is the matter? Did something happen last night?”
Sophia’s eyes widened as if there was a chance her mother knew what she had done. But that was impossible, because nobody knew of Sophia’s most wicked actions… save for the Duke, of course. Not that he was likely to have told anyone.
“Just a little tired, is all,” Sophia said. “I did not sleep well.”
“Any reason?”
“No,” she lied. “Just one of those nights.”
Her mother eyed were suspiciously. “If you are feeling unwell, I will insist that you stay home today. I do not need you getting sick.”
“Stay home…” Sophia frowned.
“Your friend Anna’s garden party,” her mother said slowly, eyes narrowed now. “You still intend to go, yes?”
“Oh!” Sophia perked up. “Yes, of course I do. I just wasn’t thinking. Sorry,” she added quickly, looking down at her plate.
Her mother continued to watch her, eyes still narrowed, no doubt starting to sense that something was wrong with her daughter. Sophia continued to look away, focusing now on her food, praying that her mother dropped the topic because Sophia never had been very good at lying.
“Just be careful to take it easy,” her mother said. “The Season has started and the last thing we need is for you to wear yourself thin.”
“I will, Mother,” Sophia said. “I promise.”
Sophia was struggling to comprehend what she had done, and she knew that things were set to become even more confusing before she would get past it.
It was just so unlike her. In every conceivable way. Miss Sophia Ashbury, the paragon of propriety and self-control. She never got into trouble. She never did anything to cause alarm. She was the perfect daughter and lady of the ton. She had spent her entire life proving this very point.
Yet, for reasons that made no sense to her, last evening, she had broken. And in the worst of ways.
Of course, it had everything to do with the Duke and blaming him helped little. It was the way that he had spoken to her that did it. His constant teasing. His persissent pressing. The accusations he made toward her character. He hadwantedher to break. And Sophia, unable to help herself, had done just that.
To make matters worse, and this was what stuck with her the most, the kiss that she shared with the Duke was nowhere near as awful as she might have liked.
Even now, hours after the fact, Sophia could still feel his lips and taste him as if they had kissed minutes ago. She could still feel the way her body reacted, her heart leaping through her chest, the breath leaving her lungs… how her entire being had trembled.
She wanted to shun the very concept of that kiss. She would have liked to have dismissed it as a mistake that she would never make again. But there was a lingering feeling deep within that refused to go away. The sense that did the situation present itself once more, that she just might…
No! Do not even think it, lest somebody find out. It was a mistake and no matter what, it cannot happen again. I don’t want it to!
Sophia had been raised better than that. She controlled her emotions. She always did as was expected of her. She did not argue, she did not cause alarm, and she never stepped out of bounds. It was a mode of living that she was convinced made her happy… but that single incident with the Duke, and she wasstarting to wonder if perhaps she wasn’t nearly as happy as she believed.
How could something that felt so right be so wrong? And why did it not feel nearly as scandalous as she wanted it to? Had she been wrong all this time? Or was she merely confused?
Needless to say, Sophia was struggling in ways that she never had before, and it was for this reason that she came to a decision. Last night was a mistake. She could not do it again. And to avoid such possibilities, she would never see or speak with His Grace again.
With that decision made, she went back to her breakfast, forcing a smile on her face as she did so. But it was a fake thing, and despite feeling resolved with this decision, there was still that niggling feeling deep within that something was wrong.
It was two hours later when Sophia emerged into the back garden of her friend’s estate. By that point, her mood was infinitely better than it had been when she woke up, and hardly in those two hours had she wasted time thinking about the Duke.
Her smile grew when she took in the scene.
There were twenty or so guests spread across the lavish garden, most sitting in small groups as they chatted merrily and shared in nibbles. She saw Anna with some friends and waved. She sawanother friend of hers, Lucy, and smiled. She started to walk toward them, the guilt and wickedness inside of her dissolving even more than it had been… and that was when she saw him.
