“Actually, I do want to go out with you.”
He releases the tension he’d been holding and relaxes, straightening his shoulders, a wide smile on his handsome face. “Great.”
I snatch the card from my mom’s hand and pass it over.
Axel accepts it this time. “I’ll pick you up at seven.” He glances at the dog, who has been so good while sitting at his side. “It’ll just be us. Bella has a seven-p.m. curfew,” he says with a grin. “Come on,” he says, and the dog, as if she belongs to him, follows him out.
I wait until the door shuts behind him before turning on my mother. “What is wrong with you?” I never saw my mother act so pushy, so insistent… so over the top!
Mom looks at me, disappointment in her gaze. “You were always such a bright girl. So smart. Yet here you are, turning down a date with the only man you’ve ever loved.Why?”
Oh, for God’s sake. I do not want to have this conversation. “Because Axel and I don’t make sense, that’s why!”
“What doesn’t? Dating? Relationships? Good sex? Giving me grandchildren?”
“Mom!” I’m as horrified as I am grateful we are alone and nobody is in the waiting room. I have no doubt the vet techs in the back are having a field day with this entire conversation.
“What? Somebody has to tell it like it is! Now, please explain to me why you and that handsome man don’t make sense in that bright mind of yours?” My mother sounds both concerned and exasperated.
I don’t like this talk any more than my mom does. “When you take away emotions and feelings, everything else about us has always been wrong. Geography, for starters.”
“He lives in town, Tara.”
“When he’s in the studio and making music, maybe. Afterwards, he spends eight months or more on tour. Sometimes in the US and other times around the world.” And that isn’t the kind of relationship I want.
I want what I had growing up. A husband at home with me and our kids. A normal life. The kind I lost when my dad died. But I won’t say that to my mother. Marsha tried so hard to blendthe family, and it isn’t her fault I always feel separated from them all. They try, but it’s like I have this wall around me I can’t let them get beyond. And if I allow myself to fall for Axel again, I fear I’ll always be the outsider in his lifestyle, ultimately left behind.
“Honey, you’re so afraid of being hurt and abandoned, like you were when your dad died, that you’ve closed yourself off completely.”
Read my mind, why don’t you, I think. My mom has always known me well.
My mother puts a hand on top of mine. “No man will ever meet whatever criteria you’re holding out for, and the one you really want is back, yet you’re too afraid to give him a chance.”
A lump rises in my throat, making me unable to speak.
“Just promise me you’ll give Axel a chance?” my mother asks, her eyes damp.
I sigh. “Okay. Anything to get you to take a step back and let me think things through.” I smile to take away the sting of her words, and it works.
My mom grins, then pulls me into a hug, happy with my agreement to try. And since I agreed to a date with Axel, clearly, I am going to do just that.
***
Axel
I stride outof the vet offices, whistling as I walk, Bella trotting by my side.
“Good job,” I say to the pup as I load her into the passenger seat and take my place behind the wheel. “You deserve a treat for being so perfect,” I tell her.
After starting up the car, I head for the coffee shop in town, all the while thinking about my first glimpse of Tara. As aman surrounded by women whenever I travel, I’m familiar with beautiful females. Not to lump them into one category, but those I see in the concert arena tried too hard to make themselves noticeable. Pushed-up breasts, brightly colored hair, skimpy clothes, too-high heels.
Did I screw around with them? Yeah, of course. I have needs. But was I ever interested in any of them long-term? That would be a big hell, no. Because none of them were real.
Tara is a breath of fresh air. She always was. From her natural wavy hair that falls like silk over her shoulders to her nearly makeup-free face and those lips I want to kiss again, she is exactly what I’ve been missing. Even if her mother twisted her arm to go out with me, I’m pleased with our first meeting in years.
After giving Bella her treat, I return to Xander’s and let myself in the side door of the pool gate and take a seat outside.
A few minutes later, the sliding glass door opens, and my host steps outside.
