“You’re still in a committed relationship, Doc. I don’t mind having a night of fun and giving into our urges. But I don’t feel like being a dirty little secret from your future wife.”
I know I sound bitter, and I’m probably ruining this moment by bringing up his double-zero, perky, blonde, girlfriend. But she’s still in the picture.
Jon exhales heavily and crawls up so that he’s lying on his side, facing me.
“I told you I’m leaving her tomorrow. She and I want different things.”
“And you think I’m going to become your girlfriend all of a sudden? Leave my career and just move here to be your…what? We live totally different lives, Jon. We want different things.”
I don’t know why I’m getting all defensive right now, putting my walls up. But one of us needs to think clearly. There’s no way we can work. I try to picture us walking around as a couple, and we look ridiculous.I’dlook ridiculous parading next to him. A well-educated, put together, doctor, with his giant, tattooed girlfriend.
“Margeaux. I like you. I’m just asking for a chance to get to know you. You don’t have to move here. You don’t have to be my girlfriend. You can’t say you don’t feelsomethingfor me,” he says. His brown eyes look sad and disappointed.
“I don’t know what I feel for you, Doc.”
“Doc?Fuck, Margeaux. We’re having a serious conversation. Don’t pull away and reduce me to just a nickname.”
“Don’t fucking scold me like I’m a child! You think because you’re a little older and a lot smarter than me that you know what’s best? You think I should just listen to you and do what you say because you gave me an orgasm or two?”
Or ten, let’s be honest.
Jon leaving his perfect girlfriend and giving up his perfect dreams, just to be with me sounds like such a lie. I don’t buy it. It can’t work.
“Margeaux, whoa. No. I’m not trying to tell you what to do. I’m simply asking for a chance,” he says more calmly.
We’re all wrong together. One night of reckless debauchery doesn’t mean we’re destined to be together. There’s no longevity with me and Jon. He’s clearly the type of guy who wants to be in a relationship. And I’m just not the kind of girl that gets a good guy like Jon.
“Don’t confuse a good fuck for deep feelings,” I say flatly, hating myself for every word I just said.
“Is this your game? Ruin something good without giving it a chance because you’re scared to be hurt,” he says as he pulls on his pants and looks for his shirt.
“Whatever. Don’t act like you know me, Doc. Go live your life with your trophy wife, in your million dollar condo.You can look back on tonight and say you did something crazy once in your life. After tomorrow, I’m never coming back to this place.”
I should be getting dressed but fuck that. Let him get one last glimpse of his night with Margeaux Wild. He doesn’t. He gets dressed, and locks eyes with me, giving me one last chance to change my mind.
Jon opens the door and walks out. It’s not until his footsteps are out of earshot that I drop my shoulders and feel my eyes stinging with tears.
“It would never work,” I tell myself out loud.
I take a quick shower and get ready to crash. The phone in my hotel room rings and I double check the clock, confirming that it’s after midnight. Maybe it’s Jon. Maybe he was right about us, and it wouldn’t be the worst thing to just see how things go between us. Right?
“Hello?”
“Miss Wild. Sorry to disturb you so late. A delivery was just left at the front desk for you.”
A delivery?
“Uh. Can you have someone send it up?” I ask.
“Of course, Miss. We’ll run it up right away.”
The newest letter lays open on my nightstand, taunting me.
Tisk. Tisk Tisk.
I’ve always known you were a slut.
You’ve always been special to me.
