Eliza gave an infinitesimal shake of her head, then took a deep breath and rubbed her hand across her forehead, closing her eyes and screwing her face up as if she were in pain.
“Excuse me,” she said quietly. “I have a headache; I will not be able to ride, so will you please go without me? I can join you all later.”
“Of course.” It was Iona who spoke, pretending to adopt an expression of concern. “I hope you feel better soon.”
The two elders expressed similar sentiments, neither of them looking particularly sincere, but Duncan came up to her and took her hands in his, then raised them to his lips.
“Go and rest,” he said softly. “I’ll talk to you later, Eliza.” He smiled at her, then squeezed her hands and turned away.
Iona mounted her mare and somehow managed to steer it sideways so that her knee was brushing against Duncan’s. She waved at Eliza as they rode away, and gave her a smug smile.
Eliza watched as Duncan’s broad shoulders and back faded into the distance, and when they passed out of sight over the bridge, she let out a long sigh. Her heart was hurting so much that the pain was almost physical. Iona Drummond wanted him, and she had everything that Eliza did not. She was wealthy, well-connected and best of all, she was Scottish, and there was nothing Eliza could do to change that.
Not to mention that he had not literally bought her off from an uncaring father.
12
Eliza could not face the prospect of seeing Iona Drummond at the dinner table, so she had her meal sent to her room, but managed to eat only half of it, since her appetite had completely vanished.
She decided to use her time constructively instead of moping, however, and made her way down to the secret room where Duncan’s mother had mixed her powders and potions. Eliza loved the earthy floral scent that filled the room, and spent a few moments with her eyes closed breathing in the sweet aroma; it soothed her somewhat, and when she opened them again she felt much calmer.
She went to fetch the dirk and spent a few moments examining it and weighing it in her palm before she grasped it and threw it at the target on the wall. To her complete astonishment, the slim blade sliced through the air and penetrated the target in the dead centre of the circle—the first time she had ever managed to do so.
Eliza clapped her hands, laughing, then retrieved the dirk and tried again. This time she was well wide of the mark, but she persevered, and although she did not succeed in doing as well asshe had done on her first effort, which she regarded as a fluke, she was improving.
The unaccustomed exercise had made Eliza’s arm sore, and eventually, she put the dirk down and took out the phials of poisons and antidotes that Duncan had shown her to try to memorise their names.
However, she had been concentrating so hard on her practice with the dirk that it had chased all thoughts of Duncan out of her mind, but now they came rushing back with full force. She wondered if he had missed her at dinner, or if her presence meant anything to him at all.
He will be too busy entertaining Iona,she thought bitterly, remembering the other woman’s finely sculpted face, whose beauty held such badness inside.
Once again, she shook the thought of both of them out of her mind and tried to think of her sisters. Juliet would no doubt be reading a book at this hour, whereas Margot would be sipping a glass of ale—because their father kept all the wine for himself—and painting or drawing, since she was a fine artist.
The warmth of love in the little circle of sisters was so strong that Eliza’s heart ached as she thought of Margot and Juliet. Yet, it was still aching for someone else too, and she wondered how she was going to face Duncan again.
It was foolish to care about him, Eliza knew, but the more she tried to convince herself of that and put him out of her mind, the more her heart rebelled and refused to do so. The betrothal was not real. The marriage would never happen, so what good would it do to fall in love with him?
Eliza was thinking so hard that when footsteps sounded behind her, she whipped around, raising the dirk, then gave a deep sigh of relief as she saw that it was Duncan. However, she took a step away from him, almost as though he were too dangerous to be near.
“I have been looking for you. I missed you at dinner,” he declared, frowning.
“You had Lady Iona to keep you company,” Eliza pointed out.
“She bores me,” he replied, frowning. “You don’t, Eliza. Why do you want to stay away from me?”
“I was not hungry,” she replied. “Anyway, why should I want to keep company with a man who put me in such an awkward situation as you did this afternoon? I had to lie my way out of it. You should never have put me in that position!”
“What was I supposed to do?” he asked furiously. “I thought you might be able to ride with us for a little while. Could you not have tried?”
His face was crimson with fury, and he ran his hands through his hair in a gesture of great agitation. Even though Eliza was also seething with rage, she found the gesture deeply arousing—was he losing control of himself? And if so, was she the cause?
“Could you not have made an excuse to Lady Muck and told her you had duties to attend to?” Eliza demanded. “Are you in charge here, or has she suddenly become the Laird?”
Duncan watched the lantern light shining on Eliza’s face. Her face was set in a furious glare and every part of her seemed tensed up. The hand holding the dirk was clutched around it so tightly that her knuckles showed white under her skin, and for a moment, he feared for his safety. He had never seen her quite so furious before, and had no idea what she was capable of. She had a fiercer temper than any woman he had ever known—he had no idea what she might do if she became carried away in a fit of rage.
He took a step forward, intent on disarming her, but Eliza took a corresponding step back, her blazing dark eyes never leaving his face.
Duncan reached for her, but his hand barely touched Eliza’s shoulder before she turned away, and the dirk slipped from herhand then clattered onto the floor. Both of them stood looking at it for a moment, then Eliza tried to dive down to snatch it up, but Duncan was too quick for her. He pushed her away with his hand on her shoulder and grabbed it before she could move, then he tucked it into his belt, giving her a triumphant smile.
