As I finish, I slowly look up at him and see resolve settle in his good eye. I stand on my toes to kiss him and straighten his arm so it’s pointed at his brother.
He tastes like blood, smells like iron and gunpowder and dirt, but he’s mine. He’s been mine for so long. They all have. Even when they didn’t understand, their presence helped. Even when I cursed them, they were there. We’re all broken with pieces that can cut, which means we know how to put each other back together without flinching at every pain.
“I’m here,” I whisper. Without looking away from him, I raise my voice. “If you’re this scared to answer, then you’re more of a coward than Coach was, Gauge. He at least bragged about all the things he did to me.”
“Oh yeah? Before Knox failed to shoot him? After you beat him bloody? I know it all, princess,” Gauge says, but his voice is weak, almost a whimper.
Jax finally looks at his brother. There’s no conflict. There’s no questioning. There’s only unflinching, merciless violence in his eye. “What did you do to our sister? Why did you break her?”
“Because it was easy. She was weak. So fucking weak.” He laughs. “It started as a game, to see what I could do. Mom and Dad were so trusting of me. I showed them handpicked articles and they thought therapy was pointless. You were worried and they said it was a phase. Do you think they pulled that out of their asses? You were all so fucking blind. It waseasyand then, I made it fun.”
“Why! What did you do!” Jaxon and I advance together as his voice rises.
“After a very special meeting with Coach where he shared a certain website, I knew exactly what to do. Just like you did,” he snickers. “God, thinking you’re better than me.”
“He is,” I growl. “He became better. You became a fucking coward who can’t even take accountability.”
“She was so much like you, Hope. Was so sweet and trusting, so easy to break. And just like you, she was a whore who could swallow everything but her guilt,” Guage hisses.
Jaxon’s hand tightens under mine on the gun, his finger teasing the trigger.
Gauge laughs. Maybe he’s insane. Maybe he’s finally done keeping it inside. People like him always want to gloat. I rub my fingers over Jaxon’s and steady my palm against his back.
“I gave her what she wanted. A reason to live. I told her she could be a star. That Coach could make her so much money… she just couldn’t handle it.” Gauge smirks and stares at Jaxon. “You were so busy with sports, so wrapped up in other things… I had plenty of time, but she called it dirty, blamed herself… she was a depressed, pathetic little girl who couldn’t handle it. If I didn’t draw the lines on her arms, she would have done itin college! There’s no saving someone who doesn’t want to be saved!” Gauge yells.
“Not if they’re a fucking demon who thinks it’s easier to kill,” Jaxon snarls.
“Now,” I whisper.
“I bet you’re just mad that you—”
Jaxon doesn’t let him finish. He doesn’t tolerate another word. He shoots Gauge in the head. Jaxon might look like he’s had a bullet through his eye, but Gauge gets the real thing, his mouth hanging open, surprise on his face.
Please let it be done.
JAXON
I stare at my brother’s body as my best friends get off him. I should feel remorse. I should feel conflicted. I should feel plenty, but it doesn’t come.
At least now I know what my brother did. He killed her. He might not have held the blades or the pills. He might not have murdered her like I did him, but he killed her from the inside out.
I’m only sad he doesn’t get to feel the same rot.
The same agony.
The same constant guilt, paranoia, depression.
But that would give him more time to hurt Hope and he willneverhurt another woman I love. The burn across my chestpulses. It sizzles, it makes me feel alive in a way only Hope ever has.
I drop the gun and she does the same, then she peeks up at me. She rips the rest of my shirt and tries to clean up my face while I just watch her.
Knox and Dimitri are working on something, muttering about finishing things, about whetheritis done, but Hope is all that matters. Bloodstained, calm, only worried about me, not the fact that I’m a murderer.
“What if it’s inside you?” she asks weakly. “What if it’s lodged in your brain? I love your brain. You can’t just let it turn off. I want… I want you, Jax. Whole and here and mine. I need you.”
“And you have me. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere without you,” I promise. “It’s just a graze.”
She looks at my head. “I think I see bone, all the way to your hairline,” she murmurs.
