A car that doesn’t belong to my dad up front, with the license plate there for anyone to see because Dimitri or Knox left it there.
Shadows inside the house. Then the cabin empty, the door left open.
No. No. No.
It’s done.
We left it all at the cabin. This is a new start. I refuse… I won’t go backwards. I buried it there. I buried him there. They’re staying. No one gets to…
I rip the photos, claw them before I realize that my vision is fading because I’m not breathing. The first breath I take sounds like a sob, but I refuse to cry. I can’t. Crying means breaking and breaking means giving my dad power again. That means days of not eating, of moving through life like a ghost.
But I’m the one alive.
Just as my shaky, almost numb fingers rip apart the last photo, the door opens. I look up as I sweep the photos in the garbage along with the envelope. Coach Carpenter glances from that to me. I wipe my eyes and try to smile, but it’s clearly not working.
Must be obvious that I’m coming unraveled. I clear my throat. “What can I do for you, Coach Carpenter?”
He glances at my table, then to me. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine!” I don’t even believe it from my own lips. I close my eyes and lean back against the table. “I will be fine.”
Scratching the back of his neck, he shuts the door behind him. I glance from it to him, then clear my throat while shifting further away. “I’d like to be honest with you, Hope. You deserve that.”
“O-okay,” I say, losing my battle with my anxiety since it’s moved from my hands to my chest.
“I never really…” He shakes his head and tries again. “I’ve always had a certain dislike for your father. He rubbed me wrong. Could never put my finger on it.”
“Oh.”
“I’m sorry if that hurts to hear, but something tells me that my gut feeling was right,” he says, then looks to me. I must nod because he continues. “Never could explain it to everyone else, but there was something in his walk, his smile, the way he held himself that told me something wasn’t right.”
What am I supposed to say? Does he expect me to spill everything I know? To admit that he won’t be a problem anymore?
“Anyway. It’s not really my business, but I thought…” He shrugs and slides me something. It’s a therapist card. Again. He spreads his fingers, revealing two. “For you and Jax. I know when something’s going on. Maybe it’s experience or something else. I know Jax has shit going on and maybe you can get him to open up or convince him that talking is a different kind of workout.”
“I’ll… I’ll try,” I say softly.
He nods and knocks on the desk like it’s lucky. “I want the best for you, Hope. You deserve it. So do the guys. I guess that’s all.”
“Okay,” I say.
I still have no clue what I’m supposed to say when someone approaches me like Coach Carpenter does. I don’t have long to think about it though, because he tips his head and is gone in another second.
Which means Jax comes in with a smirk that doesn’t reach his eyes and a swagger that looks way too practiced to be real. “Hey there, doctor. Feel free to let your hands wander.”
Seventeen
JAXON
Something’s up with Hope. I see it, feel it. And by the time she’s told she can go and to take me with her so I don’t try to slip onto the field, I have an opportunity to talk about it.
Of course, she insists on me lying in the back seat, which puts a fucking damper on it, but then she dives into talking about what we should have for dinner. Something high in protein and simple carbs. She keeps mumbling, not needing any input from me.
Since I want her attention in the right way, when we get to our apartment, I make a gasping sound and stumble against the couch. She’s there in a second, panic on her face as she grips my hips and starts to lift my shirt. I take it off for her and her eyes slowly stroke up my body.
“Jaxon, what are you—”
I grip her hair and pull her closer. “You teased me yesterday and you know it.”
