Parents are supposed to save!
Family is supposed to matter!
I’m ready to shove him back where he belongs, buried deeper than Daisy with less fanfare and love, and then she’s in front of me. Her dark hair, her big eyes, so tired. So shaky… so… soft.
“I should have been there,” I breathe as her lips move. “I’m so sorry.”
I stroke her cheek, tracing the bags under her eyes. She’s so thin, so little. How long has it been since she smiled? How long has it been since she laughed and meant it? How long did it take me to notice the scabs on her wrists or the fact she was wearing long sleeves in summer?
Too long.
I failed her.
I should’ve protected her.
I never should have left her alone.
They said she wasn’t mine to protect.
Because everyone but me knew I couldn’t.
Fifteen
HOPE
“Jax,” I say gently while he keeps touching my face.
His eyes are wet and he’s not listening, but he’s off the field and that’s one battle done. He’s just staring atme like I can give him something, or maybe like he owes me something. I can’t really say which.
I’m worried about him. His breathing is ragged, his eyes unfocused. Rage and grief are twisting in him, creating a world only he can touch. I know. I’ve been there.
Putting my hand over his, I squeeze his fingers. “Jax, talk to me. You’re right here. I’m here. You’re not too late. I need to check you out and make sure you’re okay. You’re barely standing and you matter.”
“Daisy,” he breathes.
Then it clicks. His sister.
I remember when she died. I remember trying to talk to him about it. In the paper it said that she committed suicide. He’s never shared details and I’ve never pushed.
I’m sure as hell not going to push now.
“Anything you can tell me, Hope?” Coach Carpenter asks as the game continues.
“He’s done,” I breathe.
Jax shakes his head. “It’s not over. It’s not fucking over. I saw the note. It’s not over!”
Coach Carpenter ignores him. “You’re the expert.”
“It’snotover!” Jaxon yells. I put my hand on his chest and keep his hand against my cheek. He focuses on me again as his body shakes. “It’s not over. It’s not over, Daisy. It’s not.”
“It’s not over for us. We’re just going to go somewhere else. Somewhere quieter, okay?” I ask.
“You good alone with him?”
“Yes,” I say before Jax can spiral. “We’re good. Aren’t we, Jax?”
“Nothing’s good.”
