I pause when I realize I’m looking forward to it. I’m… happy, feeling light on my feet, and I try to remember the last time I didn’t feel the weight of every choice and my past on my back. My spine feels straight, my muscles aren’t aching. The lack of tension and pain feels wrong. It feels even stranger when I realize I’m hungry.
“You stopped humming,” Knox says from where he’s packing a box.
“Was I?” I ask and hand him a few more things. I can’t believe we got permission to move in early. I don’t want to know what strings the guys pulled. I also have a feeling I don’t want to know why Jax and Dimitri aren’t here.
“I’m hungry,” I say, ignoring the other thoughts.
He blinks at me, then holds up a finger, pulls out his phone, and soon I hear Dimitri’s flat voice. “What?”
“Say it again, Hope.”
I roll my eyes. “I said, I’m hungry.”
“Are you kidding?!” Dimitri asks.
I laugh. “No. I am. My stomach is rumbling and everything.”
Knox beams and asks Dimitri if he and Jaxon will bring us something since we’ve packed the dishes. Then he reaches out to me. “Can I?”
“It’s not romantic if you ask.”
“Who said I was trying to be romantic?” he teases, before taking my hand and tugs me into his lap. He squeezes me. For one second, I consider pushing him away, but he’s trying to be normal. He’s balancing stuff with the guys, he’s choosing specific ways to touch me with warnings or asking permission, then teases me. He sighs. “Clearly I have to hold you in place so you don’t retract that comment.”
I shove at him. “You’re being ridiculous.”
“Nah, this is a totally normal reaction. I could tear your clothes off and say we need to dirty every piece of furniture before the yard sale,” he teases.
“We’re not taking everything?”
“No reason to. We can get things we actually want, instead of what was chosen for us,” he answers, setting me free.
I stay in his lap though, then look at his large hands. “Now that we have that settled without consulting me… Why’s Dimitri pissy?”
“It’s because of me and he’s only pissy with me. It’s fine. I deserve it.”
“Only maybe.”
“Such a loving response,” he snorts and grazes his fingers over the side of my breast. I can’t help it and tense slightly. “For reasons that matter, but things I can’t change. One that I don’t want to.” He studies me so intensely that my face flushes red.
“They know?”
“I told them.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “Without talking to me.”
“Beat me up about it,” he says. Despite his smile, I see something real in his eyes. “I’m a really good punching bag.”
And I hate how those words make my stomach twist. Slowly, I lean closer and let my hand wander under the hem of his shirt.
“Hope,” he warns.
“You’re not a punching bag. You’re not to be used for someone’s anger, Knox,” I say as my fingers skim over his hot skin, carefully moving to his back until I feel the first scar.
“You never deserved this,” I whisper, trailing my fingers over another scar. His body tenses beneath mine and I know I’m pushing a boundary. For both of us.
“Thank you for getting me,” I say and watch how the tension fades from his body, how his jaw relaxes slightly.
“I failed you, Hope,” he grumbles out and takes my wandering hand in his.
