“No,” I said slowly, embarrassment truly starting to sink in as I prepared to confess my stupid mistake to my best friend.
“Then what? Are you okay? He didn’t hurt you, did he?” Suddenly, Tweety’s tone was more serious than ever. “Naomi, he couldn’t hurt you, being a human and all, right?”
I was touched by her concern, truly touched, and that gave me the courage to tell her the truth.
“No, he didn’t hurt me. He was wonderful in every way. Honestly? I felt like I was in a fairy tale.”
There was a very pregnant pause on her end, and I didn’t blame her. I was sure that if I was in her shoes, I would be incredibly confused as well.
“I think I got lost somewhere.”
“It was me, Tweety,” I admitted. “Things were going so well, and all of a sudden the weather turned insane and this massive boom of thunder got my adrenaline going, so I guess my brainshut off.” To her credit, my friend didn’t interrupt me even though each word out of my mouth felt like it had its own personal weight.
“I got carried away, really. And I tried to kiss him right on the lips on our first date without even checking in with him.”
“Whoa,” Tweety said after another long pause. “That’s really unlike you.”
“I know!I know! And that’s what’s so crazy about it. I’ve never done anything like that because I’ve never had a date like this one. Rowan was sweet, he was funny, and just awkward enough to make me feel more comfortable with my own stuff.”
“And he wasn’t a catfish at all?”
“No! He looked even better in person! The guy totally has a sleeper build. I only suspected it at first, but I felt it when we were dancing together.”
“Wait, you two danced? Hell, that does sound like a fairy tale.”
“Right?” I said miserably before plopping my chin in my hands. “And I ruined it. Because I was stupid. I know this sounds a bit histrionic, but I don’t think there are many guys like that just rolling around single nowadays.”
I thought back to the many times I’d made him laugh, how his eyebrows would shoot up almost as if he too was surprised at how hard he was laughing, his nearly blindingly white teeth flashing as he guffawed. It made me feel witty. It made me feel clever.
And perhaps it was a little crazy, but it made me feel so goddamn valued in a way that was completely foreign to me.
I liked the way I looked, sure. I liked my muscles, I liked the swell of my hips, and I liked watching my own boobs do the Thing™ whenever I was doing my confident girl walk. But as much as I appreciated those things about myself, I never really felt like others saw any deeper. I had my one-night stands. Myhookups. Even Jason made it clear he saw me as good enough for his bed but not enough to be by his side. But when it came to them liking Naomi as a whole, that just never happened.
But it did when Rowan looked at me.
And I’d gone and fucked it all up.
“Wow, babe, I gotta admit, I didn’t expect this. You’re always so cautious, ya know? Kinda guarded. Which, I do not blame you for at all.”
“I know. That’s why I’m so fucked up about it. If he was a dick, he would be just one of many. But what if I ruined something truly special?”
“That’s… Jeez, I’m sorry, Naomi. That’s a lot. Have you tried texting him?”
I shook my head before I realized we weren’t on video call, so I cleared my throat and spoke. “No. I keep trying, but what do I even say?”
“How about the truth?”
I didn’t mean to, but I scoffed. “I’m sure that confessing I’m a broken wolf shifter who can’t get a date with my own kind so I turned to a human app, wouldn’t really solve much.”
“Okay, notthattruthful. I mean, just tell him you were having such an amazing time, and that along with the weather, got you a bit carried away and you’d like to apologize.”
“You really think that would work?”
“Look, girlie-girl, you are too old to not be aware that you’re a total fox?—”
“—wolf,” I corrected quickly. Was I upset? Absolutely. But one didn’t pass up a good opening like that with a friend.
“Har-de-har, hilarious. But as I was saying, you’re a total smokeshow, and if this connection was as good as you say it was, I’m sure he doesn’t want to miss out on you either. Maybe he’s got anxiety, or even some hangups about being used if he’s as hot as you say he is.”
