It tilted its head from one side to the other, tiny hands fiddling with a blackberry, bushy tail swishing and curling up behind it.
Though it didn’t appear harmful, its gaze had been locked on me for minutes, from the second I had stopped here for a brief rest. I tried to follow its line of sight but was afraid to look away for too long. Nothing seemed out of place on my leathers, though they were streaked with dirt after two days of travel.
I lifted my hand. It didn’t move.
I touched my necklace.
Its head tilted again.
“This, then?” I mused.
It released a small squeak, eyes flitting to my face. Its stare was communicative, but what it was trying to tell me, I couldn’t parse out.
My voice dropped to barely a whisper, smooth and welcoming. “You can show me.” I stretched a hand out, fingertips an inch from its tiny paw.
But the chitara only released another small squeak, twitched itsnose in what seemed ominously like a warning, and scurried away through the piles of dead leaves toward the mountains. Sapphire whinnied as it fled, a trickle of discomfort dancing down my spine.
Sighing, I shook it off. Wild Gallantian creatures were odd, the mythical ones more so.
Still, if I hadn’t already believed there was something mystical about the heated emblem on my necklace, I would have now.
Leaves crunched beneath my boots as I walked back to Sapphire, coating the forest floor even during the height of summer—odd. My warrior horse had ridden relentlessly through the mountains. We stopped only for quick food and water and for me to relieve myself, but each time I tried to sleep, my mind raced. Adrenaline forced me up quickly.
As I crouched beside the river, cupping water to rinse my face and neck, my eyelids were heavy, but my body buzzed with desperation to continue.
In my reflection, there was hardly any of the girl I used to be. Carefree, young, and unafraid.
Grief, rage, and heartbreak replaced her.
My soul worn, it shone through the harsh set of my lips and sharp stare.
Sighing a quick goodbye to that innocent girl, I sat back on the dirt, counting the moonlit spots in the branches crossing above my head and imagined what was happening in Damenal right now. Malakai…he was likely furious.
But he and I were done.
We had to be—there was no piece of me that could love him in the way I once had.
In leaving, in choosing to go after my best friend, the person I needed more than anyone, I wasn’t choosing between two men.
I was choosing myself.
I breathed in the crisp night air, allowed the thought to settle within me. Acceptance spread along my bones like roots in the packed earth. The satisfaction, the personal debt I owed myself after being so torn for years, was soothing.
The choice to leave took back a piece of the person I’d lost. Built her back up. While I may miss the girl I used to be before my worldwas burned down, the woman who emerged from the ashes was a force ready to forge her broken shards back together, retake ownership of her life, and return stronger than before.
Each step away from Damenal lifted pressure from my shoulders. Like I’d been held beneath water, my air supply running out, and now life was slowly refilling my lungs. Maybe it was the distance from so many expectant eyes, maybe it was the proximity to my target, maybe it was being beneath the stars with only my horse for company, but if healing was a feeling, I think this lightness in my chest was a part of it.
With that strengthening my resolve, I walked to Sapphire and pulled my cloak from my bag, donning it. Though we were still in the Soulguider desert, the farther we got toward the Mindshaper Territory, the colder the wind turned.
“What do you say, girl?” I muttered to Sapphire. “Got a bit more left in you?”
I was grateful when she immediately turned, as if telling me to hurry up and get on. I wasn’t ready to stop yet. Not until exhaustion dragged at our bones. Too much land still sat between me and Tol.
But as Sapphire carried me closer, I contemplated how I might find him. There was no guarantee he’d even made it into Mindshaper Territory, let alone the capital he aimed for. I knew the path he’d planned to take, though, and I followed it south, trusting the Spirits would guide me.
The constellations popped to life above us, and I smiled at them. At the deep spaces between the stars that made my darkest parts feel welcome.
Unfortunately, they did not smile back.
