“That is exactly what you meant, Malakai. Don’t try to take itback now.” She braced her hands on her hips. “Have you stopped to consider that perhaps Iamstrategizing?”
“You haven’t spoken of plans,” I scoffed.
“I learned to keep secrets from the best.”
The remark hung heavy, widening the space between us, silent except for our breaths and the wild calls of birds soaring above the mountains. I waited, but she didn’t crack.
Didn’t take back her slight.
It seemed my mistakes still festered between us, turning us away from each other.
“Fine.” I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose and leaning against the table. “I believe you’re agreeing to these terms—someone else’s terms—rashly. You’re not thinking through every possibility. And yes, I do think a desire to achieve stability is driving those decisions rather than logical thought and action.” I hated myself for exposing any doubt I had in her decisions, but how did she not see these risks? “Hope can be a weakness wielded against you.”
I should know. Hope that my father was not the despicable man I’d suspected him to be was what drove me to keeping secrets all those years. It was why Ophelia and I now stood across this chasm.
“And you’re thinking logically by lockingeveryoneout?” She was lethally calm, save for the harsh emphasis on that one word. We were both aware the argument had shifted from strictly alliances.
“We don’t have to lock them out, but we don’t have to let them control us either.”
She froze, and when she spoke, her voice was as cold as ice. “I will not be controlled. Never again.”
That struck my heart, because I knew that control had become a cliff she clung to. She thought I’d tried to control her future in leaving after we received the Bind. She thought I should have told her my father’s plans instead of handing myself over and locking us both into his fate, but I’d done it for a reason. Besides, I wasn’t the one trying to control her now.
“By giving in to what the minor clans want, youareallowing them to control you. Doing so at the start of your term as Revered will show weakness.”
“Kakias is breathing down our necks, Malakai.” She grasped thequeen’s note and flung it at me. “She’s waiting for a chance to attack, and we have no idea what that will look like. Working with others will show cooperation, increase our chances of survival.”
“We don’t need to cooperate!” I roared. Spirits, this was too much. Everything piled on my shoulders—my mother, the sash, the alliances. “We’re strong enough on our own.”
Here, in the mountains, away from any threats. Away from anyone that could capture and hurt us. My breathing quickened, heart pounding. Whips cracked again in my ears; voices taunted me.Warrior Prince. I squeezed my eyes shut against the walls pressing in. Doors slammed, chains clasped around my wrists, cutting into my flesh.
But when I opened my eyes, it was all gone.
Yes, isolation was the only way to ensure we were never betrayed again.
“You’re blinded by your own pain,” Ophelia breathed, realization widening her eyes. “You didn’t see what it was like after the war. Without allies, without trade…We need these things. You say I’m not thinking straight, but neither are you. Shutting people out won’t solve anything. These problems—they’re so much bigger than one person can handle.”
“Shutting people out ensures safety!” I rubbed my wrists, counting those ridged scars. “It is theonlyway to guarantee it.”
“It ensures certain death. A hollow, lonely atrophy of the heart.”
“Don’t let them do this.” I nearly fell to my knees under the weight of my memories. “Tell them to leave. Propose a solution the Mystiques come up with—on our terms.”
“That will only cost us time and possibly even the tentative agreement we already have. I’m sorry.” It was breaking her, to choose this over me—I saw it in each slow blink of her eyes. And dammit if it wasn’t breaking me even more. “If I turn them away, they may not come back.”
“It’s a risk you should take.”It is one I would have taken in order to assert my power.
She heard the words I didn’t say and hesitated a minute before reminding me, “You don’t make the decisions here, Malakai.”
“Perhaps you shouldn’t either,” I mumbled.
My words hit her with the force of a star crashing to earth. Herjaw dropped open, but hurt stole her words, glistened in her magenta eyes.
Fuck. I hadn’t meant that. As if I could possibly want the position after the way my father had stained it. He had tainted my future, my name, my being. And that taint now warped my mind, making me question everything I thought I knew and damaging it all. Starting with the woman standing before me.
“Well, I suppose it’s good you are not in that position of power.” The anger she’d been suppressing cracked the surface. “We would be driven into the ground far quicker.”
“What does that?—”
