He shut the door behind him, and she leaned back against the bulkhead. The mattress was decently padded, though she was going to need another pillow at least She closed her eyes, listening to the sound of the crew rushing about the rumble of the engines beneath her. She was still wearing the delicate gold watch, and she slipped it off, along with the ugly diamond ring. They were engagement presents from Neddie, and she wanted nothing more to do with him, ever. She opened the porthole and tossed them into the Hudson River.
Lizzie B. began moving promptly at three-thirty. Susan sat and watched as they moved past the old buildings, quelling her initial nervousness at unbidden memories of a few too many viewings of Titanic. Lou Abbott didn’t marry Neddie Marsden, and she didn’t die in a train wreck. She certainly wasn’t about to die in a shipwreck, either. Her future spread out before her, full of limitless possibilities.
She dozed off for a while, waiting for him. The fresh flowers in her hair wilted, the petals falling beneath her, and her thick mass of hair came loose. It was late, almost dark when the door of the cabin opened, and they’d been out at sea for hours.
For a moment he didn’t see her. She lay very still on the bunk, watching him, and he looked weary, angry, depressed. He’d shed his coat and tie, his shirt was rumpled, he needed a shave, and he was the most gorgeous thing she’d ever seen in her life. She wondered if there was any way she could convince him never to wear a suit again in his life.
And then he saw her. He froze, just inside the open cabin door, staring at her in disbelief.
“Surprise,” she said weakly. The moment of reckoning was at hand, and she was suddenly terrified. She didn’t want to spend the rest of her life without the right man.
He closed the door behind him, locked it That was a good sign. And then he came toward her, his expression unreadable. It was dusk in the cabin, but he hadn’t bothered to turn on any lights, and he looked wary, hopeful. She saw that faint glimmer of hope in his dark eyes, and she knew with sudden certainty that everything would be all right.
“You want to tell me what happened?” he asked in his low, measured voice.
“I left Neddie at the altar. You could have been a little more specific in that note you left I thought Lizzie B. was another woman.”
He didn’t say anything for a moment Then he spoke. “Why?”
Here was the hard part The chance to be shot down, rejected, shamed. She drew her knees up beneath the satin gown and looked at him pensively. “Because I’m in love with you. I have been since I was twelve years old, and everybody knew it including Jimmy.”
“Don’t you think it’s time you grew up?”
“I did. I loved Jimmy—he was everything good and kind and decent He was my best friend, and we would have been very happy together. But sometimes life doesn’t work that way. Since I can’t have a man who was good to me, good for me, then I might as well settle for you. Considering that I never got over you completely.”
She managed to get him to smile at that. “You think I’m bad for you.”
“And bad to me. But I expect a lot of that is just your natural curmudgeonly personality. The love of a good woman should mellow you.”
“And you’re that good woman?”
“No other. Don’t even think about it. You see, you’ve missed an essential point in all this.”
“And what’s that?”
“You’re in love with me. You feel guilty because of Jimmy, you think you’re robbing the cradle, you think you don’t have the right to be happy. And I think you’re full of crap. If you thought about it, you’d know that nothing would make Jimmy happier than if we got married. And he’d be mad as hell if you dumped me.”
“You’re probably right,” he said lazily. “I didn’t know you were proposing. I thought you were my bon voyage present.”
“You’re not going anywhere without me. I’m yours, buster. And you’re mine.” She held her breath, waiting. She’d given it her best shot. They weren’t too far out to sea that he couldn’t manage to send her back if he were really determined. He loved her, she knew it She just wasn’t sure if he did.
“You’re a formidable woman, Lou Abbott,” he said finally.
“Yes.”
“I guess I don’t have much choice.”
It wasn’t exactly the declaration she was longing to hear. “Meaning?” she prompted, ready to throw something at him if he continued being obtuse.
“Meaning I can’t risk disappointing my little brother. Meaning I’m not as stupid as I sometimes act.”
He had long, beautiful hands, and he slid them through her hair, cupping her face, drawing it up to his. “Meaning I’m in love with you, which you’ve probably known longer than I have, and since you were kind enough to point it out to me, I’m not going to let you go.”
She could feel her face crumple into a smile of such blazing magnitude that it shook her to her soul. He put his mouth against hers, she slid her arms around his neck, and a second later she was gone.
Part Three—Susan Returns
Fifteen
