“But what if I’m just being selfish? What if the best thing for Connor is to get as far away from Hell Creek as possible? Awayfrom my father, away from all the people who might judge him for his past.” I pushed my plate away, my appetite gone. “Away from me and all the complications I bring.”
Evelyn came around the table and sat beside me, her weathered hand covering mine. “Honey, you can’t make that decision for him. If Connor wants to leave, that’s his choice. And if he wants to stay—for whatever reason—that’s his choice too.”
“But what if?—”
“No more ‘what ifs,’” she interrupted firmly. “That’s a sure path to driving yourself crazy. Focus on what’s real. Right now, that man came to see you last night, knowing the risk. That tells me he cares about you too. Nobody risks their freedom on a fling.”
I thought about the way Connor had held me, how he’d looked at me with those intense brown eyes, the way his voice deepened when he called me his good boy. It hadn’t felt like something temporary or casual. It had felt like a promise.
“I just don’t want to be the reason he gets sent back to prison,” I said, voicing my deepest fear. “I couldn’t live with myself.”
“That’s not going to happen,” Evelyn said with such conviction that I almost believed her. “You two are being careful.”
“We’re trying to be. But what if it’s not enough?”
Evelyn squeezed my hand. “Life doesn’t come with guarantees, Ryder. Sometimes all we can do is make the best choices we can and hope for the best. That’s what Cole and Jesse had to do too. Not everyone in this world is going to accept them for who they are. But they decided to be together anyway because it wasright.”
I sighed, picking up my fork and forcing myself to eat a few bites. The eggs were perfect, as always, but they tasted like cardboard in my mouth.
“What would you do?” I asked after a few minutes. “If you were me?”
Evelyn considered the question, her silver brows drawing together. “I’d cherish every moment I had with him. And I’d make damn sure I was worth staying for, if that’s what I wanted.”
“Worth staying for,” I repeated, turning the phrase over in my mind. “How do I do that?”
“By being yourself. The real you, not the mask you wear for everyone else.” She smiled knowingly. “The you I saw just now, worried about someone other than yourself. The you who stood up to your father because it was the right thing to do.”
I felt my cheeks warm at her assessment. “I’m not sure that’s enough.”
“It’s more than enough,” she insisted. “You’re a good man, Ryder McGrath. Better than you give yourself credit for. Maybe you’re just too young to see it yet, but I’m old and I’m tellin’ you, you’re a good man.”
Before I could respond, a knock at the door interrupted us. Evelyn frowned, glancing at the clock.
“Who could that be?” she muttered, standing up. “Cole and Jesse aren’t due back for another week.”
My heart leaped into my throat. What if it was my father? Had he somehow found out where I was staying? I stood up quickly, ready to bolt out the back door if necessary.
Evelyn peered through the curtain, then let out a relieved breath. “It’s just Larry,” she said, moving to open the door.
Larry stood on the porch, his weathered cowboy hat in his hands. He looked uncomfortable, shifting from foot to foot like a schoolboy called to the principal’s office.
“Morning, Evelyn,” he nodded, then his eyes found me. “Ryder. Glad to see you’re okay, son.”
“Larry,” I replied, surprised to see him. “What are you doing here?”
He glanced at Evelyn, who stepped aside to let him in. “Thought you might want to know what’s happening at the ranch,” he said, declining Evelyn’s offer of coffee with a shake of his head.
“Is everyone okay?” I asked immediately, thinking of Connor. “Did my father?—”
“Everyone’s fine,” Larry assured me quickly. “Your dad’s been... quiet. Too quiet, if you ask me. But he called for a random inspection this mornin’ of the parolee’s bunkhouse. And well… we found somethin’.”
“No…” I whispered, taking a step back. “Not Connor…”
“It’s not Connor,” he assured me. “It’s Sam.”
My heart hammered in my chest. “Sam? What happened?”
Larry sighed, twisting his hat in his hands. “Found meth in his bunk. Not a lot, but enough to violate his parole. Your father called his PO immediately.”
