The truck hit a pothole, breaking my train of thought. I glanced over at Ryder, his profile outlined in the dim light from the dashboard. He looked more relaxed than I’d seen him in days, his lips curved in a slight smile as he navigated the familiar road back to the ranch.
“What?” he asked, catching me staring.
“Nothing,” I said, giving his thigh a gentle squeeze. “Just thinking.”
“About how screwed we are if my dad catches us?” His tone was light, but I could hear the underlying concern.
I sighed, my thumb tracing small circles on his denim-covered leg. “Among other things.”
The truth was, Iwasterrified. Not just of Pete finding out, but of what was happening between Ryder and me. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I’d spent seven years in prison learning to keep everyone at arm’s length, convincing myself I would never let anyone in again. It was safer that way. No attachments meant no one could hurt you, no one could betray you.
But Ryder had somehow slipped through those defenses like they were made of paper.
“You know,” Ryder said, breaking the silence, “I’ve been thinking about what happens next.”
“Next?” I echoed, suddenly tense.
“With my life,” he clarified. “I can’t stay at Nelson Ranch forever. And I can’t go back home, not after everything that happened.”
Relief washed over me. He wasn’t talking about us, about whatever this relationship was becoming. “Have you figured anything out?”
“Maybe,” he said, turning onto the gravel road that led to the ranch. He slowed the truck, clearly in no hurry to arrive. “Cole mentioned before the wedding that he might have a position for me at Nelson. Nothing fancy, just ranch hand work to start, but...”
“But it would be yours,” I finished for him. “Something you earned, not something given to you.”
He nodded, a determined set to his jaw. “Exactly. I’ve spent my whole life being Pete McGrath’s son. Maybe it’s time I figure out who Ryder is on his own.”
Pride swelled in my chest. The spoiled kid I’d met two months ago was growing up right before my eyes. “I think that’s a good idea.”
“What about you?” he asked, glancing my way. “What happens when your parole is up?”
It was a question I’d been avoiding. My six months at McGrath Ranch would be over soon, and then what? I’d have my freedom, but freedom to do what? Go where?
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I’ve got some money saved. Not much, but enough to get me started somewhere.”
“Somewhere,” Ryder repeated, his voice carefully neutral. “Like where?”
I recognized the real question he was asking. Would I stay in Hell Creek? Would I stay near him?
“I haven’t thought that far ahead,” I said honestly. “I spent seven years planning and dreaming about what my life would be once I left. But now that I’m here… I’m not sure what to do. I’m just taking it one day at a time.”
“Where would you go?” Ryder asked, his voice soft but loaded with meaning. “If you could choose anywhere.”
The question hung between us, heavier than it should have been. I hadn’t allowed myself to think that far ahead. Prison taught me to focus on surviving the present, not dreaming about futures that might never come.
“I don’t know,” I said finally. “Somewhere quiet, maybe. A place where nobody knows my name or my past.”
Ryder’s grip tightened on the steering wheel. “So not Hell Creek.”
I heard the disappointment in his voice, saw the slight slump of his shoulders as he navigated the truck along the winding road. My hand moved up his thigh, squeezing gently.
“I didn’t say that,” I told him. “It’s just... I’ve spent so long being defined by my mistakes. By that one decision that cost me seven years of my life.”
“What happened?” Ryder asked, slowing the truck as we approached the ranch entrance. He pulled off to the side of the road, killing the engine but leaving the headlights on, illuminating the empty stretch ahead.
I took a deep breath. I hadn’t told this story to anyone since my trial, but something about the darkness of the truck cab, about Ryder’s quiet presence beside me, made it possible.
“I was seeing this guy,” I said, letting out a long sigh. “One that I shouldn’t have ever let into my life.” I glanced over at Ryder, shaking my head. “But he was young and cute and he liked to play games. And I didn’t know any better not to take the bait.”
