“Well…” I let out after a moment. “It was really nice to see you, Seren.” I gave her a small wave, already turning on my heel.
“Hey, Blair?” Her voice stopped me mid-step. I turned back toward her. “Zane and I are having a Halloween party tonight,” she said. “At our place.” She hesitated, just slightly, before adding, “I’d really love it if you could come. All of you.”
I said yes before I had time to think about it. Not because I was brave, or curious, or even particularly willing. I said yes because something in me recognized the moment for what it was. A door opening. Not one I had been waiting for, exactly, just one that existed whether I walked through it or not.
The rest of the afternoon passed in a strange haze. Cherry talked. Holden paced. I nodded at the right moments and smiled when it felt expected, but my mind was somewhere else entirely. It kept circling back to the same thought, over and over. This is what moving forward feels like. Not clarity. Not certainty. Just motion. By the time the sun dipped low enough to smear orange against the sky, I had already decided. Or maybe the decision had made itself. I told myself not to expect anything. Not answers, not closure, not ghosts. Just a party. Just people. Just a night.
And now, I was standing in the posh hallway of the apartment building Seren had mentioned, staring at the door. Cherry was behind me. Holden stood behind her. Neither of them spoke, but I could feel their eyes on my back, like they were waiting for me to do something. Say something. Move.
Their awkward tension still hadn’t evaporated, but right now, I didn’t care about whatever petty fight they were locked in. I barely felt present in my own body. I had debated coming here all night. I didn’t want to come. But I did. I couldn’t come here, and somehow, I had to.It would be rude not to go. Cherry’s words from earlier floated back to me, though I didn’t think she truly believed them. I think there was a part of her that was just as curious as I was. Curious about this small fragment of a life we had left behind. She had left it behind too.
“Levi’s headed to Florida,”I remembered Cherry telling me one day, her voice faintly defeated.“Full ride. Basketball.”I remembered studying her face, trying to read what she wasn’t saying. She’d been harder than usual to read that day.
“So what does that mean for you two?” I’d asked carefully. Cherry had laughed softly, shaking her head like she’d already made peace with the answer.
“It means Levi and I were just a few pages in the same crazy story. And that’s okay. I think we both knew it.”
Now, standing here, all that curiosity collapsed into something heavier. Apprehension.
“Blair,” Cherry said quietly, pulling me back to the present. I drew in a breath, forcing oxygen into my lungs. I didn’t doubt we were in the right place—the music was loud, voices carrying easily through the thick door. The sound of people our age, celebrating something, anything. “Are you sure you want to go in?” Cherry asked softly, running her hand along my arm. “We don’t have to.”
I looked down at her hand, suddenly aware of myself in the costume she had so carefully chosen for us. The corset strapped around her torso was the same as mine, except for the color. Shewore red. I wore white. She had devil horns. I wore a halo. We’d laughed about how perfect it was for days. For the most part, she was the devil and I was the angel. It felt right. Too right.
“He probably won’t even be here,” Cherry added, even though I hadn’t answered.
“I know,” I muttered, lifting my eyes to her face. Her red-accented makeup was flawless, but her expression had softened with concern.
“We really don’t have to go in,” she repeated. “Whatever you want.”
“But please,” Holden cut in from behind her. He was dressed in his usual clothes, though Cherry had talked him into letting her paint skull makeup across his face. I’d been surprised by how little he’d resisted. “Make a decision,” he continued. “Because I’m not spending my night standing in a hallway.”
“Shut up, Holden,” Cherry snapped, smacking his arm.
“I’m just nervous,” I admitted, my eyes drifting back to the door. “It feels like… I don’t know. Like we’re about to walk back into a world that doesn’t exist anymore.”
“That world never stopped existing,” Cherry said quietly. “We’re the ones who walked away from it.” I nodded, the truth of it settling heavily in my chest. To them, to Austin, to Levi, to Seren and Zane, maybe we were the ones who had disappeared. “How about this,” Cherry said gently when it was clear I still wasn’t answering. “We go in. We say hi. We have a drink. And then we can leave. No pressure. No questions.”
“What are you so scared of, Blair?” Holden asked. His impatience was still there, but so was something softer.
“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “I guess after all this time, I just assumed I’d never have to face the answers.”
“What answers?” Holden asked.
“All of them,” I said. “What happened. Why it happened. Why Austin never called. Why we didn’t collide again like we were supposed to.”
“Wouldn’t it be nice to finally have them?” Cherry asked.
“What if they’re bad answers?” I said, my voice barely holding.
“What if they’re not?” she replied.
And I sighed, because that was the problem. Because at this point… I wasn’t sure what would be worse, and maybe that was why I had decided, a long time ago, that I never wanted to know.
“Well,” Holden shook his head. “I’m not standing here anymore.”
“Just give her a second,” Cherry said quickly, but it didn’t matter. Holden had already pushed past us, his elbow brushing mine as he moved forward, forcing me to stumble back into Cherry. “Holden,” Cherry snapped, but no sound came out of my mouth.
I watched as he crossed the small stretch of hallway and reached the door. He barely hesitated before twisting the handle, confirming it wasn’t locked. A crooked smile crossed his face as he pushed it open. The apartment opened up in front of us, glowing with warm light and crowded with plastic Halloween decorations. Orange streamers. Fake cobwebs. A life continuing without us.
