“Yeah,” I agreed quietly. I could see the truth in his words instantly. Not just in myself, but in him too.
“Do you remember the day I brought you to the waterfall?” Austin asked carefully. Of course I did. The memory rushed back all at once. The peace, but also the excitement. The fun, butalso the ease. The golden sparks that seemed to hang in the air around us. The way Austin had watched me that day.
“I could never forget,” I said honestly.
Austin nodded, though he didn’t smile the way I expected him to. “Do you remember being upset with me because I hadn’t called you the week before that?”
My brows furrowed slightly as I nodded. “Yeah.”
“The night we had our cupcake date,” he continued, “I went to see Roger to tell him I was officially done. That whole week, every time I wanted to call you, I couldn’t. I told myself I wasn’t allowed to until I had everything figured out. Until I knew how to be a better person for you. So I could be good for you.”
I stared at him as he spoke. There was something in his voice, something painful enough that it made me want to pull him into my arms.
“You were a good person to me,” I said softly.
“The problem is, Blair,” he said, “I never dealt with the person I actually was. I just hid him. I buried my past without ever taking it apart before trying to put myself back together.”
“But you have time to do that now,” I told him. “And so do I. We both do.” I swallowed before adding, “We can do it together.” I said the last part holding my breath, anxiety clawing at me because of everything it implied.
“Blair,” Austin said quietly, shaking his head. My stomach dropped. “I planned on doing everything I could to show you I could be a good person for you when you came back healthy,” he said, reaching out to take my hand.
“But…” I breathed, already knowing.
“But in the last twelve hours, I realized something,” he said gently, his thumb brushing over my knuckles.
“Do you remember what I told you once?” he asked. “That I would climb a hundred mountains for you—but it wouldn’t mean anything if you couldn’t climb the mountains for yourself.” I nodded, unable to speak. “I think you still have some mountains to climb,” he continued. “But I have my own mountains too. All the things we kept from each other. The secrets. The lies. Mine especially,” he admitted. “But you were lying too, Blair. I know it’s different. I know you were mostly lying to yourself. Still… I don’t think we ever really have a chance if we don’t give ourselves time to climb those mountains.”
“Separately,” I whispered, my eyes filling with a soft, stinging blur.
Not because his words hurt. Not because they surprised me. But because I knew they were true. I’d said it myself, after all. We couldn’t swim those waters together without drowning. There were always going to be consequences.
“So… what now?” I asked quietly, blinking up at the ceiling in a weak attempt to keep the tears at bay.
“I guess we try to find ourselves,” Austin said, tightening his grip on my hand. I could feel his emotion as clearly as my own.
“Fifteen minutes apart,” I murmured, remembering my own words from weeks ago. “But in different worlds.”
“I should go,” Austin said softly, finally letting go of my hand. “Seren’s still at my house.”
I nodded, looking down at the ground because I wasn’t sure where else to look. “I hope everything will be okay between you two.” Austin stood without answering right away. I still didn’tlook at him, but I could feel his gaze on my skin, like he was trying to see through me. Like he was desperate to understand what I was thinking. What I was feeling.
“I’ll walk you out,” I said, standing with him, still avoiding his eyes. He didn’t respond. He stayed a careful distance from me as he waited for me to open my door, and as we walked through my dark house. Like he was fighting the same magnets I had just been thinking about. The ones still embedded in our skin. The ones still begging to pull us back together.
He didn’t speak when I opened the front door either. And I don’t know why, but I didn’t stop there. I kept walking—out onto the porch, down the steps, toward Austin’s car. Finally, when there was nowhere else to go, when I stood beside his expensive car with the night wrapped around us, I turned back to face him. He had already stopped. Already waiting. Looking at me like he’d known this moment was coming.
“Thank you,” I breathed. The words cracked something open inside me, and suddenly there was nowhere left for the emotion to hide. My face cradled as I reached for him, and he didn’t hesitate. His arms wrapped around me instantly. One of his hands slid up behind my neck, steady and grounding, as I cried into his chest. “Thank you for what you’ve done for me,” I whispered, my tears soaking into his shirt. “And… thank you for letting me go. I know you’re right. I wouldn’t have been able to do it.”
“Yellow,” I heard Austin say softly against me. “I meant every single fucking word I’ve ever said to you. Don’t ever doubt that, okay? Walking away isn’t fate. It’s the first decision I made without hiding from it. I love you. And because I love you, I see how much you deserve.”
“I know,” I nodded, gripping him tightly one last time. “You deserve the same.”
Finally, we were still. Just holding each other in the dark night. Like in that moment, he was an anchor, and I was desperately trying to stay chained to him so I wouldn’t drift with the changing tide. He pulled away first, letting me float free. His hands settled on my shoulders. His eyes caught mine as he looked down at me.
“This isn’t goodbye forever, Yellow,” he said quietly. “Trust me.”
He leaned in—so gently it felt like he wasn’t moving at all. Without a word, he pressed his lips to mine. They were still, but there was passion. I felt it everywhere. When he pulled away, I took a breath, memorizing his face like I didn’t quite believe him. But for some reason—I did.
“I trust you,” I told him.
