“Yes,” Killian whispered, the smile that spread across his face immediate and unmistakable. “Someone like me.”
The smile didn’t reach his eyes. It sat on his face like a decision had already been made. Like my answer had been obvious, and I’d just taken too long to say it. I kept looking at him, detached, like I was watching a scene unfold instead of living inside it. I didn’t move. I watched his eyes flick between mine and my mouth. I watched him shift closer, slowly, deliberately, like he was afraid I’d disappear if he moved too fast. Still, I didn’t move. He was close enough now that I could feel his breath. I glanced down, registering his lips only because they were suddenly there—too close. I didn’t remember inviting that distance.
When his mouth brushed against mine, it barely registered as sensation. His hand lifted toward my face, and I felt frozen, suspended somewhere between awareness and numbness, my body not fully responding to the moment unfolding around it. Like a delayed reaction finally firing, my brain caught up to what was happening. I jerked my head back as quickly as the alcohol would allow, my balance wobbling slightly as confusion flooded in. My brows pulled together instinctively, my face scrunching as I tried to understand the moment I had just been pulled into. Even through the fog in my head, I couldn’t make sense of why he thought now was an appropriate time to try to kiss me.
“Um…” I let out, the word useless and thin. The air between us shifted instantly.
It was a strange, heavy energy, thick and uncomfortable. My confusion sat right at the surface, sharp and exposed. His anger rose to meet it, dark and sudden. I saw it in his eyes before he even spoke. They weren’t soft anymore. They weren’t searching or hopeful. They were hard. Offended. Nothing like the way he’d been looking at me just seconds earlier.
“What the hell, Blair?” Killian snapped. His voice didn’t sound like his voice. It sounded like it belonged to someone else entirely.
“What?” I said stupidly, the word slipping out before I could stop it.
“What did you do that for?” he demanded, his tone growing sharper by the second.
“I—” Panic flared, quick and hot, cutting through the haze in my head. And suddenly, Austin’s words from the party slammed back into me.I know that look.Had he been right?
“I’m sorry,” I blurted, the rush of panic clearing the fog just enough for a streak of sobriety to break through. “I’m sorry. I just— I don’t— I’m still with Austin.” The words felt clumsy, but they were true.
“What?” Killian sneered, the sound ugly and biting. “You’re going to stay with that guy? Why?” He scoffed. “I’m right here, Blair. Who cares about him?”
Something in my chest tightened painfully. Killian stepped closer again. Too close. His gaze dropped to my mouth like it had before, deliberate and unsettling. I didn’t think. I just reacted. I jumped off the swing, stumbling back a step as I put distance between us, my hands lifting instinctively as I moved away from him.
“No,” I said, the word finally finding its way out.
“Blair,” Killian shook his head as he stood up. “Really? It’s just a kiss.”
“No,” I said quickly. “No. I don’t think so.”
“Are you fucking serious?” Killian let out a harsh sigh, dragging a hand through his hair. “You can’t be serious. Do you think I followed you out here just to talk about your stupid fucking boyfriend? To listen to all your problems like I’m some kind of therapist?” He stepped toward me, and my chest tightened painfully. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if I should run or stay still or scream. I didn’t know anything at all. “That’s a fucking joke, Blair,” he continued, shaking his head like he was genuinely offended. “And it really pissed me off.”
“I… I…” I stammered, my eyes darting around the park like I was waiting for someone to appear. Like I was praying for someone to save me. But there was no one. It was just us.
“I’m not your fucking friend,” Killian said, closing the distance again. “I don’t want to be your friend.”
“Okay,” I said quickly. “I’m sorry.” The words tumbled out of me instinctively, useless and desperate, meant only to calm him down.
Killian stepped closer again. And finally, something inside me broke open. I was terrified. My phone started vibrating in my hand, the sudden buzz shocking me like I had forgotten it even existed. Relief flooded through me so fast it made my knees weak when I saw the name on the screen. My fingers felt clumsy and slow, like they didn’t belong to me anymore. I fumbled with the screen and answered, immediately putting it on speaker.
“Blair?” Austin’s voice came through the phone, sharp with panic.
Killian laughed. It was short and cruel, like whatever he’d been planning had just been interrupted. He muttered something under his breath that I couldn’t make out, then met my eyesagain. I couldn’t read the look he gave me. Anger. Frustration. Something darker.
Then he turned and walked away, like I was suddenly no longer worth the effort.
“Blair?” Austin said again, more urgently this time. I didn’t answer. I kept my eyes on Killian until he disappeared out of the park completely.
“Austin,” I finally said, my voice cracking the moment his name left my mouth. Tears spilled over before I could stop them, my body betraying me as I said his name like I needed him. But did I get to need him?
“Blair, baby, what’s wrong? Where are you?” Austin asked quickly, the fear in my voice impossible for him to miss.
“I’m…” I hesitated, my chest tightening. I didn’t know if I should tell him. I didn’t know if I was allowed to need him anymore. But I did. “I’m at the park down the street,” I said, my words dissolving as I spoke. “Austin, I don’t know what just happened. I’m scared.”
“Okay,” he said immediately, relief rushing through his voice as he let out a breath. “Okay. I saw it when he drove in. What happened? Are you okay?”
“I don’t know,” I whispered, tears streaming freely now. The alcohol stripped away whatever control I had left, letting everything spill out. “I don’t know what’s happening.”
What would have happened if my phone hadn’t rung? What had Killian been planning to do? He wouldn’t have done anything. Right?
