Finally, after I jerked my head toward her door one last time, she waved. Her blond hair fanned around her shoulders as she turned and disappeared inside. The darkness felt heavier the second she was gone, like the night had reclaimed everything she’d been lighting up. I let out a slow breath, the adrenaline from her spontaneous kiss finally settling into my bones. For half a second, I’d been annoyed. Just half a second. I’d had plans for our first kiss. Real ones. I’d given her the waterfall. I’d given her the fireworks. Somehow, even that hadn’t felt like enough.
That moment of annoyance might as well have never existed. The second her lips touched mine, it all vanished. It had been exactly the kiss I’d imagined. The kind worth waiting for. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized maybe the setting hadn’t mattered at all. A kiss with Yellow. I didn’t think there could ever be a bad one.
I pulled away from her house, and the farther I drove, the colder I felt. Not in my skin. Not in my body. Just everywhere else. The thought only cemented what I already knew. Yellow was the sun. And I was just a chunk of rock, senselessly orbiting her. I pressed down on the gas, trying to shake the feeling clawing at my stomach. That was the part Seren hadn’t warned me about. Being with someone like that was easy. It was a welcome change. But what about when you weren’t with them?
I didn’t head straight home. I let the city stretch out around me, mile after mile, until the quiet in the car started to feel too loud. The high from her kiss dulled, leaving something heavier in its place. That was always how it went. The good things never stayed unchallenged for long. When my phone lit up with Levi’s name, I didn’t ignore it this time. Maybe distraction was exactly what I needed. Even if it came in the form of my least productive coping mechanism. It didn’t take long to reach Levi’s house, not at the speed I was going. Speeding has been a bad habit of mine for years now. One I hadn’t figured out how to break.
I groaned when I pulled up and saw the cars lining his driveway. None of them were his. None belonged to his parents either. That has always been one of the cornerstones of our friendship. Neglect recognized neglect. Though lately, I was starting to realize it was a common thread among the blindly wealthy kids we went to school with. I didn’t bother knocking. I pushed the door open and was immediately hit with bass-heavy music andthe thick smell of smoke. My nose crinkled instinctively, my body reacting before my brain could stop it.
“A,” Levi’s voice drifted through the house. I knew exactly where he’d be, so I followed the sound through the echoing halls of his oversized, empty home.
The kitchen looked like it always did. Beer bottles littered the white stone counter, grinders scattered between them, and a half dozen familiar faces turned to look at me as I stepped inside. Not that long ago, I had known those faces well. Too well. They had faded slowly the closer I grew to Seren, each one slipping further into the background as I learned what real friendship actually felt like. Their loyalty had been shallow. Conditional. Levi was the only one who hadn’t disappeared.
“What’s up?” I muttered, acknowledging the group as a whole before turning to Levi. He stood immediately, clasping my hand and pulling me into a one-armed embrace.
“Where you been, Porthouse?” Justin boomed. “We’ve been here for hours, man.”
“I was busy,” I replied, my tone sharper than I meant it to be.
“Oh?” Levi lifted a brow. “Busy, huh? Anything in particular you were, uh, busy with, A?”
“Nah,” Greg chimed in. “You ditched us for a girl again, Austin? Starting to feel like a pattern.”
“Not just any girl,” Levi said with a grin. “It’s the girl.”
“Shut up,” I muttered, shaking my head as I grabbed a beer from the counter. I twisted the cap off and brought it to my mouth, hoping the bottle hid the smile that betrayed me anyway.
“Well, well, well,” Justin laughed. “Never thought I’d see the day.”
“Anyone we know?” Brady asked. I shook my head immediately. They didn’t know my Yellow. And they never would. She was too good for any of them. Hell, she was too good for me.
“Yeah,” Levi said instead, answering for me. “You guys know Holden Evanston?”
“The junkie from Hawking?” Brady asked, surprise flashing across his face. My gaze snapped to him, then back to Levi, who was already nodding. My stomach dropped. They knew. It shouldn’t have shocked me. Of course they knew. Still, I’d buried that name deep inside myself, shoved it further down every time it surfaced, convinced that if I pushed hard enough it would stay hidden.
“It’s his sister,” Levi added, completely unaware of the way my body had gone rigid.
“Oh shit,” Brady muttered, rubbing his chin. “Didn’t even know he had a sister. Guess she’s not mixed up in all that mess.”
“She’s not,” I snapped, my jaw tightening painfully. My heart was racing now, faster than it had in a long time. Heat crawled up my spine even as a cold settled deep in my chest.
“I’m surprised she’d go for you,” Greg said flatly. “I mean… considering everything. Considering how much you sold. Most people who watch their family turn into addicts want nothing to do with that world.”
My chest constricted, the air suddenly too thick to breathe. I rolled my shoulders, trying to shake off the pressure building there, then took a long swallow of beer. I dragged in a breath through my nose, but it never seemed to reach my lungs. Leviwas watching me now. Really watching. Concern etched clearly across his face. I didn’t look back at him. I was too busy trying to fight whatever was clawing its way up from inside me. I placed the bottle of beer back onto the counter, worried I might shatter the glass from the pressure forming in my hands.
“She must be a fucking babe though,” Isaac drawled, and I heard the others murmur their agreement. “What is it with you and these hot girls? And speaking of, any chance Seren’s single now? I know she had it bad for that kid Zane, but man… what I wouldn’t give to see that chick nak—”
“Shut the fuck up.” The words tore out of me, loud enough to cut through the music and freeze the room mid-motion.
“Shut the fuck up, Isaac,” I continued, my voice shaking with something dangerous. “Before my fist finds your face. Don’t talk about Seren. And don’t ever talk about Blair again.”
Silence swallowed the kitchen. Every face turned toward me, stunned. I stood there breathing hard, my chest rising too fast, too shallow. I dragged in another breath, trying to force the fire out of my blood, but my heart only slammed harder against my ribs. My legs felt unsteady beneath me, like the floor might give way at any second.
“Chill,” Isaac said finally, holding his hands up just a little. “I know she’s your friend. But you can’t be surprised she’s still a hot topic. I mean—one of the last people she fucked ended up dead.”
I didn’t think. My hand fisted in his shirt before the sentence even finished. The beer bottle slipped from my grip and shattered on the tile, glass spraying across the floor, but I barely registered it. I yanked Isaac forward, the fabric biting into his throat, my pulse roaring so loud it drowned out everything else. Ilifted my fist, hovering there for half a heartbeat, trying to decide how hard I wanted to hit him.
“A,” Levi said sharply, his hand landing between my shoulder blades. “A—”
