Yellow.
I stared down at the single word on my phone, a text message that had come through from an unsaved number. Not that I had to wonder who it was. There was only one possible answer, and even after spending the entire day reflecting on the worst parts of my past, that one word was enough to make me smile.
That didn’t help my fingers decide what to type back. They hovered over my keyboard for two full minutes while my mind searched for something that felt adequate. Something that didn’t sound stupid. Or eager. Or like I cared too much. I threw my head back against the soft orange pillows lining my bed, the ones Cherry always said clashed with my blue sheets. I didn’t mind the clash. The colors together reminded me of a sunset over the ocean, and I couldn’t understand how that could feel wrong to anyone.
I let out a quiet breath, wondering what had gotten into me. I wasn’t completely clueless when it came to talking to boys. I knew a thing or two. It just seemed those things had abandoned me entirely, because I felt like I was in middle school again, staring at my phone after the first boy who’d ever paid me attention. With nothing better to offer, I finally gave up on trying to be cute or clever and typed back the simplest thing possible.
Hi.
I tossed my phone away from me the second I hit send, nerves shooting through my body. I wasn’t sure why I did that. I knew I’d grab it again the moment it made a sound. But the sound I heard wasn’t a text notification. It was my ringtone.
Less than ten seconds after my phone left my hand, the familiar melody filled my room, making my stomach drop. I picked it upfrom the bed beside me, not surprised in the slightest to see the unsaved number calling. Austin.
I hesitated, my eyes flicking between the green and red buttons. Answer. Decline. Green or red. I could ignore it. I could make up an excuse later. Any excuse. Texting was one thing. Talking felt different. Louder. More real. I groaned, staring up at the ceiling, irritated with myself and whatever pathetic part of me was suddenly incapable of acting normal. Then I pressed accept.
“Hello?” I said, the phone pressed to my ear. I hated how my voice came out, too high, too soft.
“Yellow.” Austin’s voice was the opposite of mine. Steady. Calm. Effortlessly cool.
“Hi,” I said, and immediately wondered why my cheeks felt warm. I felt like I was going through puberty all over again instead of being years past it.
“Hi,” he repeated, and I could hear the smile in his voice.
“Why did you text me if you were just going to call?” I asked, genuinely curious.
“I didn’t want to give you an excuse to decline,” he chuckled, like he already knew exactly what I’d been considering.
“Why would you think I’d decline a call from you?” I bluffed.
“You never know with you, Yellow,” he said, then paused. “I need to see you.”
“You need to see me?” I laughed, trying to hide the way my heart softened at the words. “Am I in trouble?”
“Something tells me you’ve never been in trouble a day in your life.”
I smiled despite myself. “I keep telling you that you don’t know me.”
“Whatever you say,” he replied, amusement still in his voice. There was a brief silence between us, one that felt full instead of awkward. My smile hadn’t faded. “So,” he said quietly. “Can I see you?”
“When?” I asked him, already running through my work schedule in my head.
“Tonight,” he said quickly. “Right now.”
“What? Right now?” I couldn’t hide the shock in my voice.
“What’s wrong with right now?” Austin teased. “Are you busy?”
“Um…” I trailed off, not wanting to admit the truth. I was almost never busy.
“What do you have to lose, Yellow?” he pressed. “It’s just you and me.”
“Alright,” I said, surprising myself as the word left my mouth. It felt like it came from a part of my brain I didn’t usually listen to.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” I confirmed, and instantly realized what I’d done. I leapt off my bed, phone still in my hand, stopping short in front of my mirror. I looked like a disaster. Full Netflix mode. An oversized shirt that had seen better days and ratty pajama pants that should have been retired years ago. “When will you be here?” I asked, already assuming he’d pick me up.
“Um…” Austin hesitated, and for the first time his voice wasn’t smooth or confident. “I was actually hoping you could meet me somewhere.”
