“Ladies first,” Holden said, stepping aside with a smirk.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I muttered, already scanning the room. It wasn’t packed, but there were enough people inside that my chest tightened anyway. I let my eyes move quickly, instinctively, like I already knew exactly what I was searching for. Tall. Blonde. Tattoos. And when I didn’t find that combination, something in my chest loosened. Maybe Cherry was right. He wasn’t here.
“Okay,” I let out, reaching for Cherry’s hand and lacing my fingers through hers.
“You sure?” she asked, tightening her grip.
“We’ll get in and out… yeah. Yeah, I’m fine,” I told her.
Cherry glued herself to my side as we stepped into the party. I knew she wasn’t nervous like I was, not even close, but I also knew she was acutely aware of how I was feeling, and I loved her for it. I scanned the room again, focusing on the bodies swaying slightly to the music pulsing through the air. I didn’t recognize anyone, which wasn’t surprising. Seren and Zane existed in a social circle completely separate from the one Cherry and I lived in now.
“See?” Holden said smugly. “This is fine.”
“You should’ve let her make the decision herself,” Cherry muttered. The edge in her voice felt sharper than necessary. But then again, Cherry might have done the same thing on another night, if she wasn’t in whatever strange mood she was in.
“Can you two just figure out whatever’s going on between you?” I sighed, shaking my head. I didn’t have time to sit in their silence, though, because a familiar face caught my eye. Or rather, three familiar faces.
They belonged to a world even further removed than the one Austin and Seren came from. I spotted Cassidy first, dressed unmistakably in a Clueless outfit. Osiris stood beside her, dressed as Cher. Gavin hovered next to them, third-wheeling like he always had. I barely had time to process it before Seren’s voice rang out across the room for the second time that day.
“Blair!” I turned, expecting her words to be slurred, it was her party, after all, but they weren’t. Her voice was clear and bright. “You came!”
“Yeah,” I said softly, meeting her halfway. Her costume didn’t surprise me. Dark blue scrubs, pulled straight from her favorite TV show. I wasn’t sure how my mind had held onto that detail after all these years.
“You look so good,” she said, pointing toward the halo perched on my head. “I love the costume.” I nodded, finally letting my shoulders relax. If Austin were here, he would be beside her. Right where he always was. “So…” Seren started, but she was interrupted.
“What the…”
If I had forgotten the way Seren’s voice sounded, I hadn’t forgotten his. It was like my body remembered the way he spoke before my mind did. I could feel the syllables he muttered in my skin. I turned toward the voice sharper than I meant to. I couldn’t help it. It was like I had once said, so many years ago. There was something in my skin that was always drawn to whatever lived in his.
My eyes met Austin’s almost instantly. He looked like the last thing he expected to see was me. He was wearing a matching costume with Seren, which again was not surprising in the least. A dark wig sat crooked on his head, and he pulled it off quickly,like he was suddenly embarrassed by it. I just stared at him. I took him in with everything I had. He looked different. Older, the way I probably did too. But lighter. Lighter than I had ever seen him. Like he no longer carried the weight of whatever he had been dragging behind him for so many years. Physically, he looked almost the same. Yet I could barely recognize him. A full minute passed before he spoke. A minute that felt longer than any minute ever had before. Then the shock softened in his eyes. His lips curved upward. And he said a single word.
“Yellow.”
And that single word was enough to light my skin on fire.
It lit my skin on fire in a way I had forgotten it could be lit. Like my skin was made of gasoline, and those two syllables were the match. Austin needed only to say them, and I was aflame. After all these years. I didn’t let a sound escape my mouth as we stood there, staring at each other. I had nothing to say. Though, in truth, I had everything to say. I had so much to say that the thought of saying anything at all was overwhelming.
Austin was still smiling as he looked at me, but it wasn’t the smug smile he once loved to wear. It was a smile caught in disbelief, like his mind was spinning just as fast as mine. I wasn’t sure if I was waiting for him to speak. He didn’t. Instead, his eyes kept moving over me, again and again, like he couldn’t afford to miss a single inch of me in this moment. This was a moment that included no one but Austin and me. Like the rest of the room had dissolved completely. It was just us. We looked at each other like ghosts, but not the terrifying kind. Like long-lost loved ones we had given up hope of ever seeing again. And still, there was a sadness here between us. A sadness made up of all the things that could have been, but never were. Because of those mountains that once stood between us.
“So…” Seren’s voice was the first to crumble the invisible walls around Austin and me. I had to shake my head at the sound of it, because my brain had gone completely still.
I looked toward her, finally breaking the endless eye contact I’d been locked in with Austin. Seren glanced sheepishly between the two of us, though mostly she was staring at him. I could see the subtle guilt written plainly across her face. She hadn’t told him she invited me. Just like she hadn’t told me he would be here.
“I don’t want to hear a single word out of you,” Austin said quietly, his voice low and direct, aimed only at Seren. His eyes shifted to her at last. He looked at her blankly, and she met his stare without flinching, and I could tell she was trying not to crack a smile. No words were spoken, but I knew better than anyone that an entire conversation passed between them anyway. Whatever it was, it silenced her. Seren smiled to herself, shrugged, and turned back to me.
“I’m really, really happy you came, Blair,” she said gently. “I know it’s been a long time, but we really missed having you around.” Her smirk softened into something genuine as she spoke. She let her eyes flick back to Austin for just a second before giving me a small wave and turning away.
I watched her disappear into Zane’s waiting arms, their bodies finding each other like matching magnets. Like they’d always known exactly where to land.
“Yellow.” Austin’s voice pulled my eyes back to him. He was looking at me like he never wanted to look away again, and the realization sparked two opposing things inside me at once.
Hope.
And reluctance.
“I mean—” He cleared his throat, his gaze dropping briefly to my feet. “Blair.” Still, I said nothing. “Can, uh— can we…” He stumbled over the words, and for the first time ever, Austin sounded unsure. I had never heard him struggle like this. “Can we talk?” he tried again, steadier now. “I’d really like to talk. Just… catch up.”
Still—nothing.
