“Really?” I cocked a brow. “Try me. I may seem simple, but my situation is complicated. Yet I’m at least trying.”
For a long moment, he looked out at the trees, as if hoping they could explain why his romantic life was so dismal.
“Allie had a baby,” he finally said. “A daughter.”
My stomach sank. Shit. Allie was his ex-fiancée. The one he left abruptly when he moved home. He’d told us it was over and that we were never to speak her name again. But it had been a good three years since then.
“I’m sorry, dude,” I said lamely. “It sucks when an ex moves on.”
“No. You don’t understand. She got pregnant when we were engaged. While we were planning our wedding. That’s why we postponed.”
Squinting, I assessed him, finding him wearing his typical stoic expression. “Okay. So…”
He took his hat off and ran his hands through his hair. And as if he could sense his owner’s discomfort, Wayne got up and rested his head on Josh’s knee.
“I thought the baby was mine,” he said softly. “I was thrilled. Read the books, bought all the stuff. All while she drifted farther apart.
“After her first ultrasound appointment, when we could see the baby, hear its heartbeat, Allie broke down. Told me she had been having an affair with her boss and that the baby was his.”
The admission knocked all the air out of my lungs. Josh had always worshipped our father. Wanting to be just like him, settling down with the love of his life and having a houseful of kids. He was a wonderful uncle to Jenn’s and Jess’s kids and led school field trips around the farm, teaching students about maple sugaring.
“It almost killed me,” he rasped. “That the woman I loved had cheated and then had led me to believe she was carrying my baby.”
“But it could have been.”
“That’s what I thought. Hoped, really. So we did testing.” He hung his head. “It wasn’t mine.”
I swallowed past the lump in my throat. “So that’s why you left.”
He looked up at me, tears in his eyes. “I wish it was that easy. I had a breakdown first. Blew up my career, my life, my finances. But this place.” He scanned the trees. “It saved me, gave me a purpose. Helping Mom, helping Uncle Ed and Aunt Suzie out so they could finally retire, it was what I was meant to do. This land and this farm mean so much to our family and this town. Spending my life here is a privilege.”
I nodded, even as I choked on the guilt and sadness pummeling me. “I agree,” I said softly when I found my voice. “But it’s okay to want more too.”
He shook his head and uncapped his water and took a swig. “I’m good. This place and Wayne are all I need.”
With a huff, he stood and started to clean up.
“Should we work on the west side next?” I asked as I did the same.
“Not today. I’ve got to go over to the cabin and fix a few things.”
“Did you finally list it on Airbnb?”
Josh had put months of work into an old cabin on the property, transforming it into a bright and comfortable home for Jess and her daughters. They’d planned on moving here last summer, and he’d put in a ton of effort to make the place perfect for them.
But plans changed. Jess met Brian, and her oldest, Kit, was accepted into a prestigious music school in New York, so they decided to stay. They spent summers here, but rather than take over the cabin, they were converting Mom’s old barn into their dream house.
So the cabin mostly sat empty. Aside from the odd guest now and again, like the Glovers.
“No. But Callie’s been hounding me. Apparently the school hired a woman from out of town for the upcoming school year, and she’s looking for a house to rent starting next month.”
“All the way out here?”
“Yeah. Sounds like she’s got kids, so she wants room for them to play outside rather than trying to cram into an apartment in town.”
Lips pressed together, I nodded. “Sounds like a good deal for the both of you.”
Josh stretched. “Not really. I still don’t love the idea of having tenants. But Callie is insistent. And the other night, I was at the brewery, and Faith started in on me. According to her, the school is desperate to fill this spot. They really need her to take the job.”
