For a long moment, Evie and I stared at one another. I was at a loss for what to do or say. She looked equally unsure, and honestly, that was a bit of a comfort. Because maybe I wasn’t the only one out of their depth.
“He’s beautiful,” I said. I didn’t have the first clue how to start what was truly the mother of all awkward conversations.
She smiled softly, peering down at the baby. “He is.”
“So, um…” My heart rate picked up again, making my words come out weaker than I’d like. “What you said last night.”
She straightened a little, her attention drifting up to me.
My breath caught as our eyes locked. The beauty of this moment hit me like a punch to the gut. If this was really my son, then one day, I’d tell him about the moment I met him. Would I want to have to explain how I interrogated his mother just hours after his birth. Hell no.
“Not that I want to accuse,” I said, tripping over my words.
She shook her head. “I’m sorry. My brain is so scrambled right now. I didn’t think this was possible. In fact, I was told by multiple doctors that I’d likely battle infertility.”
My heart lurched. “So you really didn’t know?” I was a paramedic, not a doctor, but I had medical training. It seemed unbelievable that for nine months, she’d carried a baby and yet had no idea she was pregnant until she went into labor.
Anger rose up in me each time I replayed the moment she told me I was the father of her baby. If she’d clued me in during her pregnancy, I would have done everything I could to support her. Sure, I was a good-time kind of guy, but that didn’t mean I’d ghost her when shit got real. If I was the dad, then I deserved to know.
“I have PCOS,” she said, her voice timid. “I’ve never had regular cycles. My hormones are a mess, and it’s been such a stressful year for me. I felt off and I gained weight, so I went to the doctor. He told me to eat healthier foods and to exercise more. I didn’t even consider that this could be possible, and no one ever suggested I take a test. So I followed his directions, and I’ve been working to be as healthy as I could be.”
My stomach twisted itself into a knot. Seriously? I knew women tended to get worse medical care than men. It was a load of shit, but it was reality. But her story was nuts.
“And while it’s natural for you to be skeptical,” she hedged. “You’re the only guy I’ve been. Um…” Her cheeks turned a soft shade of pink as she trailed off.
My shoulders relaxed a little. This was hard on her too.
But then her words registered, and my heart seized in my chest. “Ever?”
“No.” She rolled her eyes. “Recently, like in the last year.”
Brows raised, I surveyed her. Why did I find that knowledge so satisfying?
I shook the thought from my head. That was a sentiment to unpack at a later date.
“So I understand if you want a paternity test. But I’m sure he’s yours.”
I took a deep breath, digesting all this information. The baby was mine. In theory, that should be terrible news. Evie and I hooked up once. Well, multiple times, but only one night. And the morning after. I wasn’t anywhere near ready to have kids. Hell, I wasn’t even sure I was dad material. But when I focused on Evie and the baby again, a strange sort of calm washed over me.
“Can I hold him?” I blurted out. “When you’re done?”
She nodded. “I think he’s dozing off again. How about you burp him?”
I took a step back, a bolt of fear zipping through me. “I don’t know how to do that.”
“You’ll figure it out. Watch.”
She pulled her hospital gown closed and eased him up, supporting his head. Then she gently patted his upper back until he let out a massive burp.
“Good job,” I said under my breath. Damn. The burp was bigger than he was.
“Here, you can take him. Do you know how to hold a newborn?”
I nodded. “Yes.” I’d spent time with my nieces and nephews when they were tiny and both my sisters made sure I coould hold a baby. I stepped right up to the bed and gathered him in my arms, supporting his head using the crook of my elbow. Carefully, I walked over to the chair Frankie had vacated and sat down, finally examining him up close.
“You’re a natural,” she said in a soft tone.
Warmth bloomed in my chest as I drank in the sight of him. If I didn’t know how impossible it was, I’d swear my heart grew a size.
