“Be so positive all the time. Smile so much. Make the best of things.”
I shrugged easily. All my life, I’d gotten questions like this, so the answer came quickly. “I was born like this.”
“Bullshit. Try again.” She folded her arms over her chest, the movement drawing my eye to the pink nursing bra visible through her old white T-shirt. “Give yourself some credit, Jasper. You had to have done work to get to this point. Don’t deny it.”
The fire in her eyes made my stomach clench. This was the Evie I was used to. Passionate and opinionated. Damn, good coffee really could work miracles.
“I was young when my dad died,” I explained. “Heart attack when I was in high school. He’d had his first heart attack a few years before that, but he rallied. For a while, life was great. Things went well and I relaxed, but then one day, he was gone.”
A soft breath escaped her. “I’m so sorry.”
“My mom spoiled me rotten. I’m the baby of the family, so it was my birthright. We were close, so losing her broke me inside. She’s been gone for three years, but I wake up every morning aching to talk to her.”
The moment turned really heavy really quickly. But at the same time, I appreciated the question. This was the first time Evie had really been curious about me. And I wanted her to know me, just like I wanted to know her. In therapy, I’d learned that achieving connections was worth the vulnerability, so I rolled with it.
“We have no idea how much time we have,” I continued. “Every day is another opportunity for joy and fun and all the good stuff. So I try to remember that and choose the good stuff. The smiles and delicious coffee and laughing at baby farts.”
She regarded me for a minute, sipping her coffee, a hint of warmth in her eyes, though it died quickly. “I wish I could feel that way. My brain is wired for worst-case scenario every day.”
“The bad stuff?” I said. “It’s unavoidable. Grief and loss and sadness. They sneak up on you. Taxes and storms and flat tires are all part of life whether you like it or not. But joy.” I took a step toward her, holding her dark gaze. “You’ve got to choose joy. It’s not just out there to stumble onto. You’ve got to actively seek it.”
If I let my mind spin, it’d be brimming with doom and gloom. Future custody disputes, worries about my financial future now that I had a child, the murderer on the loose in our small town.
There was so much fear, so much to lose. Enough to swallow me whole. So I had to stay focused on the good.
“You’re full of life lessons today,” she said, her lighter tone a little forced. “Baby gas mitigation and now philosophy? You are a pretty good inspirational speaker.”
With a wink, I tipped an invisible cap. “Happy to indoctrinate you into the church of Jasper anytime.”
She threw a onesie at me, her cheeks turning pink. “And you just made it weird.”
“It’s okay.” I kept folding, my smile growing wider. “People have told me I give off handsome cult leader vibes.”
Chapter 9
Evie
Eyes squeezed shut, hand on Vincent’s back, I ran through the mile-long to do list in my head.
With a breath out, I kissed the top of my sweet boy’s head. This little guy had really thrown a live grenade into my life. Work was chaotic, since I hadn’t planned on taking maternity leave. I hadn’t technically returned to work, and my team had stepped in to help, but there were always fires waiting for me to put out. As director of marketing at Sugar Moon Syrup, I coordinated all corporate communications and worked with research and development to review all claims and labeling language, all while keeping legal off my back.
The environmental audit we were waist-deep in right now required a lot of careful messaging and emails, especially to our investors, meaning the entire company had been working nonstop.
As I opened my laptop, I prayed Vincent would snooze so I could at least go through my inbox. My three-month maternity leave was almost half over, yet I could still barely manage showering most days or keeping the house stocked with groceries. How the hell was I going to survive once I went back to work?
Closing my eyes, I forced a deep breath. For now, my top priority was time with Vincent. I could tackle everything else later.
Jasper would be proud of that mentality. Not that I’d mention any of this to him. He’d been so patient and kind, even when I was a raging bitch and pushed him away. Yes, I should let him help more, allow him to parent more. But the thought of letting go of Vincent for even a minute filled me with dread.
Before I could spiral again, a car pulled into the driveway, its tires crunching on the loose asphalt.
I popped up and peered out the window. Jasper was out front, stepping out of a truck that saidLawrence Farmon the side rather than his usual green Bronco.
Why was he here? He’d texted earlier, saying he was off work, but I’d told him we were fine and not to come by until tomorrow.
As irritation stirred to life inside me, I draped a blanket around Vincent and tucked it into the sides of the baby sling. Then I shoved my feet into my shoes and stomped outside.
Jasper was unloading a large item from the bed of the truck. He set it on the ground and went back for another.
