The weirdest part about having a baby is that they just let you take the helpless, fragile little soul home after.
After less than three days in the hospital, Vincent and I were deemed “ready,” whatever that meant. The nurses, who had taken care of us around the clock, packed us up, stuck a stack of diapers in the bag Ruby had brought for us, and dispatched me with nothing more than hugs and well wishes.
Vincent was dressed in an adorable sailor outfit Ruby had also picked up. He looked so tiny in his brand-new bucket seat. Jasper had shown up with it, swearing it was top of the line, and announced that he’d already installed one of the bases in his car and had the resident car seat expert at the fire station confirm he’d done it right.
It certainly looked safe, but disquiet swirled through me anyway. I’d quickly tried researching car seats while Vincent slept yesterday, but the sheer amount of information was overwhelming, so this was yet another area in which I wasn’t knowledgeable. So much of Vincent’s life was left up to chance because I was so unprepared as a mother.
“Ready?” Jasper asked, hitting me with that big, disarming smile.
Despite his size—the man took up the entire doorway—he was eager, almost boyish. The light in his eyes when he looked at Vincent was innocent and pure.
He was tall and muscly, his Maplewood Fire Department T-shirt stretching across his chest.
A normal woman would look at him and thinkhandsome young hero.
But I was not a normal woman. I was a hormonal mess who alternated between leaking milk and leaking tears.
So I saw him much differently.
To me, he was this hot, unattainable man who had bought a car seat and had a professional confirm its safety. He was a man I shouldn’t trust. He was too handsome. Too charming. And too loud. A man I needed to stay far away from because he, like every man who’d come before, would flake and leave me utterly disappointed. The confusion alone was enough to make me tear up.
“Are you okay?” He rushed to my side and cupped my shoulders like he was prepared to hold me up. “Should I buzz for a nurse?”
I shook my head. “Just tired,” I lied.
He ran his big hands down my arms. “Are you sure?”
Why was he being so sweet? I’d been bitchy and dismissive yesterday. He was right when he called me out on the defense mechanism. But I hadn’t acknowledged it or apologized. And now here he was, smiling and being annoyingly thoughtful. I was the queen of pushing people away, and this guy seemed immune to my venom.
“I have to take care of him now,” I said with a whisper. “And I’m not prepared.”
He looked over at Vincent, who was snoozing in his car seat, a binkie in his mouth. Then he turned back to me. “Weare goingto do a great job. Yeah, we’re a bit behind, but I’m catching up. I spent most of my shift watching YouTube videos.”
“YouTube?”
“Don’t knock it. I’ve learned a lot about parenting already. And my swaddle game is on lock. Just you wait.”
I couldn’t help but smirk. His easy confidence was disarming, making me feel a tiny bit better.
Theweshould have thrown me. It should have activated my defenses. There was nowe. I was doing this on my own. He could be around, of course, but I’d ensure he got the message.
I didn’t need Jasper complicating my life any further.
But as I looked at him, gorgeous even in the harsh fluorescent hospital lights, I couldn’t muster the energy to fight him on this.
I’d missed my house. It wasn’t much, but it was mine. Home ownership hadn’t been on my to-do list in New York. It wasn’t realistic. But shortly after moving here I’d purchased the cutest little bungalow a few blocks from town. For months, I’d spent my free time decorating and fixing the place up. The pastime wasn’t great for my social life, but it filled me with joy every time I looked at the floors that I’d refinished or the cheery window boxes I’d installed.
Now I was bringing a boy into my home. Damn. I’d probably have to tone down the girliness. The fuchsia bathroom, the cat wallpaper, and the purple velvet sofa definitely didn’t scream boy mom. Eh. I could figure that out eventually. Thankfully I had a spare bedroom. It was a catch-all, filled with boxes and all kinds of other shit. But at some point, I’d muster up enough energy to clean it out for him.
Vincent started to fuss beside me in the back seat of Jasper’s Bronco. God, the kid never stopped eating. As soon as I finished nursing, which took close to a lifetime, he was hungry again. Honestly, I didn’t mind. According to the nurses, most babieslost weight after birth, but Vincent was already gaining like a champ. It appeared that he’d inherited my metabolism.
As we navigated through town, I scanned our surroundings, shocked by how many businesses were closed. The town green was still decorated for the Maple Festival, but the vendor booths were empty and the stage in front of town hall looked abandoned.
The town came alive this time of year, to celebrate the rich history of the maple industry. Jasper had mentioned how chaotic things had been, how terrified the locals were. It didn’t make sense. A murder? That sort of thing did not happen in this quaint New England town. A town where doors were left unlocked and neighbors still showed up on porches with casseroles. Where a person was more likely to trip over a sugar bucket than stumble across a crime scene.
Breaking news usually involved Basil writing something nasty about the rival cheese shop on his chalkboard sidewalk sign.
We took care of one another. And no one dared get in the way of the lifeblood of this place: tourism.
