“Nah,” he says, rubbing his firm hands up and down my back, sedating me. “I grew up and realized that I wanted to be a rancher. I want to raise animals; I want to feed animals and feed people. I want to work hard everyday and have a job where at the end of the day, I can turn around and know that even when it's hard, I did good. People change. Dreams change. What meant something to us or the life we thought we wanted for ourselves doesn't always feel right once we have it. When that happens, well, we just need to find something new.”
I twist in his embrace, lifting my head to look at his. How I've found such a kind, warm, down-to-earth, hard-working man is beyond me. I feel myself falling, and not in a scary way. I’m falling into something new, into a world that feels right. A world that maybe is meant for me more than I would’ve ever thought.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Grayson
Iswipe a streak of sweat from my brow, surprised my body has even a drop of water to spare considering how hot it is. I dart my tongue out to wet my parched lips, but my mouth is so dry itself, it doesn’t make a difference.
I could kick myself for forgetting my thermos and cooler, but my mind was too focused on Holly and that look on her face. It was all I could do to leave her, tucked in my bed wearing only one of my oversized tees as her pajamas. What I wouldn’t give to have been able to climb in behind her, to wrap my arms around her and hold her as she sleeps.
Spending the morning with her put me so far behind it’ll be nearly dusk before I’m done baling, but I’d do it a hundred times over if it meant being there for her. She’s so hard on herself, and insistent on working herself to the bone in a job that only seems to hurt her. I wish I couldmake her see how brilliant she is. How her kindness and empathy would be appreciated anywhere.
Maybe it’s wishful thinking, a little bit of selfishness at the thought of getting to see her every day, but I can see her making a life here. I can see her taking over for Doc Williams, running the clinic full time and getting to know the locals. People would flock to her. They’d put their health in her hands, I just know it. But how do I tell her that? How do I ask or recommend that someone quit the job they always thought they were meant to have without making her feel like a failure?
And then there’s Lukas. My little brother is suffering, and I’m running out of ways to get through to him. He’s been a little better since moving back to the farm. Part of it is kicking the booze, I’m sure. He's not alone anymore, no longer sitting in his empty apartment, staring at the same four walls.
Holly has been helping him look for a therapist, or a doctor, someone that could help him. Hell, she could probably help him if they spent more time together. He opened up more to her on the front porch the other day than he has to any of us over the last few years.
My stomach rumbles, and I place a hand over it protectively. “I know, buddy, I know,” I murmur.
I drank the last of my emergency water hours ago, and there definitely aren’t any snacks stashed on this tractor. Maybe there would be a snack on one of the good ones, one that has air conditioning or an enclosed cab, but I let my dad and Theo use those. I’ve got ol’ trusty, our oldest tractor that we still use daily. Another few hours, I tell myself. Another two hours, if I push it, and I can get back to the house, to Holly. Take a cold shower and eat something and talk to her about everything.
The tractor rumbles along, moving up to crest over a hill, and as soon as I reach the peak, a bright, shining gleam blinds me.
For a moment, I think I’ve finally passed out. I swipe the sweat from my eyes, wondering if I’m dreaming, or if maybe it’s a mirage, because there’s no way that I see Holly parked at the edge of the field with the late evening sun reflecting off of her shiny Mercedes. She has her long legs on display, poking out from underneath a flowery summer dress that hits just above her knees. It’s held together by these skinny little straps that tie across her shoulders, and my fingers itch to trace the fabric, to see if one tug has the entire dress falling to the ground. I keep the tractor heading in her direction, because if I’ve died, if this is it and I’ve passed out from hunger or heat stroke and I’m lying in a field somewhere on my way tomeet Jesus, then this is definitely what the gates of heaven would look like for me.
I spin the tractor around parallel to her car, and Holly’s smile grows when I let the tractor idle. I climb down the few steps, planting my feet on the ground as she pushes off the side of her car. As she does, she turns to reach in through the open window and grab a tote bag from inside.
She starts toward me, and I watch, entranced, as her legs weave their way through the knee-high hay. The grass lining the ditch parts for her as she walks, the tips of the higher ones meeting the hem of her dress as it lightly grazes across her knees. My heart swells, knowing that this woman could go anywhere, see anyone, have anything, and somehow she chooses to spend her time with me. She looks like she had a full day of sleep, a fresh shower, and the smile on her face is the smile she has when her heart is content.
“Hey there,” she calls out once we’re within a few feet of each other. I don’t stop walking even when she halts, and I take that final step until we’re chest to chest. She’s freshly showered, her blonde hair that’s normally straight and slicked back in some sort of updo is flowing in the breeze. I grasp a piece between my pointer finger and thumb, noting it’s still damp and frizzing from thehumidity, and take a look at it. “I never knew you had curly hair.”
“Not curly, more like frizzy,” she says, adjusting her position until her pert breasts rub against my dirty and sweat-soaked shirt. “I don’t have a single hair product or a blow dryer at your place, so this is me, au naturel.” She looks down at the summery dress she’s wearing, running a hand over her hip. “I didn’t have anything to wear besides my dirty scrubs and another one of your tees, and I thought I might get a ticket for traipsing around town in just your tee and no pants.”
My cock twitches at the thought of that, and I reach an arm forward, covering hers where it sits at her hip. “Where’d you get this, then?”
“There’s a little shop in town right by the coffee place that sells secondhand things, found this one on a rack right in front.”
“Mmmmm.” I tilt my head down as her chin juts up, and I place a soft kiss on her lips. “Don’t be mad, baby, you look good every time I see you, but this,” I say, pulling back to gesture to her soft hair and makeup free skin. Her faint freckles that dust across her nose are on display. “This is my favorite.”
She rises on her toes to kiss me once more before dropping back and holding up the bag at her side. “I saw yourcooler and thermos still sitting in the driveway. Thought maybe I could persuade you to give me a ride on your tractor if I brought you dinner.”
“How’d you know where I was?”
“I texted Harper.”
My heart skips a beat at her thoughtfulness, and I pull the tote from her and grasp her free hand in mine. With our fingers tangled together, I place a kiss on the back of her hand as we walk toward the running tractor. A look of hesitation forms on her face, but I brush it aside, giving her a quick lesson on how to climb up.
She grasps the handle firmly with one hand and props one long, lean leg on the first step, giving herself a mental pep talk before she bounces once and hops up. She takes the last two steps with ease, but I stay perched below her, ready to catch her if she slips.
As she reaches the top step, she leans over, likely to swipe some of the dust off of the seat before turning around and reaching for the bag.
I hand it to her, grab the handle, and climb up into the seat. Once I’m settled, I grip her by the hip and yank her onto my lap. She squeals as she falls, and then she’s right where she belongs, settled on my thigh like her body was made for it.
She pulls the tote bag back onto her lap, and with her weight balanced on my thigh and one hand holding onto her hip, I return to baling hay. She hands me a bottle of water, first cracking the cap and holding onto it so I can reach for the bottle.
I down it in nearly one drink, and she smirks, taking the empty bottle from me and handing me a sports drink.
