“I know that you don’t understand what it’s like to have a family, Colt. Not one that truly cares about you, anyways. Or one that was around long enough to see the choices you made for yourself as an adult.” He hesitates, watching for my reaction, but I refuse to give him one. “You’ve never had a serious relationship, and you don’t have kids. So you couldn’t possibly understand the lengths I’d go through to secure a future for Annaliese.”
“The future she wants, or the one you want for her?”
“She’s young. She’s foolish. She’s clearly shown she makes poor decisions.” He nods to me with the last dig, and as his words work their way into my mind, I can slowly see everything I’ve hoped for start to crumble.
My fingertips dig into my hips, hands threatening to tremble. “And you’d do that to her? You’d take away her dream, just like that? Tell me something Richard,” I pause, tongue darting out to lick my bottom lip. “I’d like to know how and why you pulled her grant funding in the first place.” I no longer believe it had anything to do with his love for her, or his so-called desire to keep her safe in the States.
His unexpected laugh echoes through the small office. “I’ve done a lot more for a hell of a lot less,” he says. “I didn’t get to where I am today by coddling someone's feelings and catering to unrealistic dreams. I had to prioritize what comes first.”
“And what comes first for you, Richard? Clearly it isn’t your family. If I were you, if I was Chief of Surgery, and a man as wealthy as you are, I’d encourage my talented daughter to chase her dreams and explore the depths of her skill set. I wouldn’t dare make the same mistake you’re about to.”
His tongue runs along the inside of his cheek, then over his teeth, and I can hear him suck in his next breath. “And that’s why I’ve decided you aren’t fit to be Chief.”
My body jerks back, physically reacting as if he reached across his desk to grab me by the throat. I should have seen it coming. If he’d destroy everything his daughter has worked for– his own flesh and blood and the greatest gift he’s ever had–if he’d go out of his way to ruin her biggest dream, why would I be any different?
Our nearly fifteen-year relationship, the late-night cases, the mentoring, it didn’t mean anything to him. I was just another pawn to Richard. Annaliese’s words from that night so many months ago come rushing back to me. He saw a weakness in me, and he feasted on it.
“Unless,” Richard continues, his voice breaking through my thoughts. “You’ve come to realize your foolish error and are ready to make amends.”
I stare at him, breathlessly, not sure I can even form the words to ask what he means.
“Show me that you’re the man I thought I created. Show me all the years I’ve wasted raising you to be a man weren’t in vain.” He pauses, letting that sink in before continuing, “Leave her alone. Walk away from her. End whatever tryst you’ve started and keep this conversation between us. Then, I will reconsider everything.”
“You’d reconsider funding her residency?”
He shrugs one shoulder, a half-hearted commitment. “Likely. And I’d reconsider you in the running for Chief.”
There have been two times in my life when I can recall feeling like I was standing at a crossroads. When my dad went to prison and my mom died, I hit rock bottom. I was with my cousin and wanted so badly to give in to my depression. A life of drinking and drugs and self-sabotage seemed a lot less painful than anything else I had been through. I could have started down that road with him, or focus on homework and school to make myself a better person than my dad ever was.
The second moment was when I was knee-deep in my first year of residency and questioned everything. I wondered if I was smart enough or if I had enough stamina to withstand the long work days and research. I questioned whether I had what it took to bring someone into my OR and operate. Would I ever be able to actually save someone's life someday?
I questioned everything I knew until the day I met Richard. Regardless of what Annaliese believes, hehastaught me everything. He gave me the strength and encouragement to survive the brutal shifts. He spent late nights listening to me dissect my research and quizzed me on the cases. He taught me how to invest my money to triple my income. He was the one that first suggested I may be fit to be Chief of Surgery one day. Since his suggestion, he has had me follow along to nearly every executive board meeting and every brown-nosing fundraiser all with the notion that one day I'd be in his place. The one dream I had left sits in his hand, and he’s dangling it in front of me to grasp.
If I say yes–if I agree to walk away from the greatest woman I have ever met–then, in a way, we all get what we want. Richard will fund Annie’s residency, and she can spend the next two years sailing the coast of Africa, helping the people she cares about the most. Living outherdream. It’ll be what she wants, what she deserves, and I want that so badly for her I’d risk everything I have. I'd give that to her, regardless of my own future. But fuck him for making me choose and for thinking I’d ever choose myself, or him, over her.
“Fuck you, Richard,” I grit out, hoping he can feel the disdain pouring from my mouth.
He balks at my words, proud expression falling as his feet fly off the desk to hit the floor. He stands, a vein in his forehead bulging as he wags a bony finger back and forth between us. “You're done, Andrews. Dead to me. This,” he says, nostrils flaring with each forced word. “This between us is over.”
It’s my turn to balk at his suggestion, so I force out a dry, humorless laugh knowing how well it’ll piss him off. “Be honest, Richard, was it ever really there?” Because I can see now, clear as day, that it wasn’t.
I reach for my laptop bag, and as soon as I have my hand wrapped around the strap, his words nearly knock me out. “If you don’t leave her alone, I’ll bury her.”
My bag falls to the floor, and I stand upright, the air sucked from my lungs. The room spins, and for a moment, I think I’m going to faint. “What?”
“You heard me,” he grinds out, falling back into his chair. He reaches a finger up to loosen his necktie and flips the top button open. “End this, Colt, or I’ll make sure she never practices medicine again.”
“You wouldn’t dare.” I sneer.
He barks out a single laugh. “You have no idea how deep my claws can dig.”
A knock on the door sounds, and we fall silent, the only sound a faint shuffle of steps on the carpet as Annaliese comes in. Her smile brightens the room for a moment as she starts toward her dad’s desk, only to pause mid-point when she catches the expressions on both of our faces.
She looks up at me, her beautiful brown eyes waiting for me to tell her it’s okay, and I catch myself falling silent.
I turn my gaze back to Richard, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth so I don’t break down in front of them both. A growing hatred gnaws in my gut, and I can’t bear to turn back toward Annie right now. I can’t let myself see the look on her face when I have to let her down.
A part of me wants to shout it all out. To scream the truth and lay everyones cards on the table, but I know better. Richard will stop at nothing to get what he wants, simply so he can win. He managed to strip his daughter of her government-issued grant, so he’s right when he says I have no idea how far his claws can go.
