“They scheduled a clinic for free physicals for kids.” I shrug. “They had a bigger turnout than expected and needed help, so I offered to come down for a bit. It’s not a big deal; it’s not something we need to talk about.”
She nods slowly, disbelieving anything I have to say. “You say that like you’re trying to keep it a secret. Are you worried I’ll try to convince you to come to Africa with me?”
It’s my turn to bark out a laugh as I reach to open the door that leads to the surgical wing and let her pass through first. “Don’t get your hopes up, Sparky. I’ll volunteer a few hours for a friend when I can go back to my very comfortable condo at night. You wouldn’t catch me dead sleeping in a tent with a mosquito net for a blanket.”
She rolls her eyes at my comment, but continues to prod, “I don’t buy it. There are a lot of things you can do to support a friend that don’t involve volunteer work. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say maybe you like helping out the less fortunate.”
I don’t answer while we take the final hall to my office. I sip my too hot coffee and savor the burn against my tongue. We take our designated seats, me behind my desk and her on the chair in front of it. She crosses her legs, bouncing her foot again while she sits and stares.
I drain nearly half of my coffee, knowing she won’t let this go until I have given her a solid, at least partly-true answer. And if I don’t answer her questions, she might be bold enough to ask why I told them about her.
“Their clinic is much needed in the downtown area.” I run a thumb along the seam of the cardboard cup, choosing my next words carefully. “Did you know there are about half a million people in the city who don’t have health insurance? Ryan,” I jut a thumb in the general direction we came from, “his wife has a soft spot for old people, and he has one for kids. So combined, they worked to open up this clinic to help those specific populations, or anyone really. I helped out with some financial donations to help them get started. It’s still a work in progress, and while they get their funding in order, they both continue to work full-time here. Sometimes they open on the weekend and need an extra hand. It’s not a big deal.”
The basic schedule of an attending, even one with seniority, is still grueling. We work long days and participate in a call rotation, which sometimes means surviving on little to no sleep. We work weekends and holidays because the hospital is always open. Their clinic doesn’t need a surgeon, yet, but they were blown away with how many people flock there during open hours needing help. Ryan had brought it up in a random conversation once, and I found myself offering to go help out.
I admire what they’re doing. It’s selfless and exhausting. It’s very similar to what Annaliese does, and I can see her squirming in her chair with excitement, wanting to rapid-fire more questions at me.
“Is that why you became a surgeon? To help the less fortunate?”
I cut her with a glare, and she does this exaggerated eye roll that has me grinning instead.
“Well regardless, I think that’s admirable. What you are doing, as well as what Ryan and his wife do.”
I toss my now empty cup into the trash at my side, feeling a little more alive now that the caffeine is running through my veins.
“Ryan’s a good looking guy,” she adds. “Seems nice, too.”
Hot, unbridled jealousy boils deep in my gut. Is that why she seemed excited about the clinic, at the prospect of getting to know him better? “Clean out your ears, Sparky, did you hear him talk about his wife?”
She scoffs loudly, slumping back in her chair. “My God, I said he was a good-looking guy. A lot of women are into that type of hair, the streaks of silver in with the black. So long it might need a man bun. That’s all. I didn’t say I wanted to jump his bones. I didn’t even say he’s my type.”
A little of the fury dissolves, but not enough. “Don’t let his wife hear you crushing on him. She’s a tiny little thing, a sweetheart, but she’s a kitten with claws when it comes to her man. She’d likely scratch your eyes out for looking at him twice.”
Annaliese laughs, a beautiful, freeing laugh that has a chuckle rumbling in my own chest. “I think I’ll like her, then. That’s how it should be, you know? When you marry someone, they should be your person. They should fight for you, emotionally and literally, if needed.” She takes a cautious sip of her coffee, eyes lost in thought. “I admire the way he talks about her, too. You can see how much he appreciates her. Not enough relationships are like that.”
I find myself nodding along. I often have that same thought when I’m around Ryan and his wife. He’d give up anything for her, and she’d do the same. “He respects the hell out of her, honors her, and I think that’s one of the most important parts of a relationship. What they have … it’s real.”
She fiddles with the flap of her coffee cup, moving it back and forth until she tears it clean off. “With a love like theirs, I’ll bet one day their teenage daughter won’t walk in on Ryan trying to bend a scrub nurse over a shitty kitchenette table.”
I sputter, coughing on my own saliva. I want to believe it was just a random, off-hand comment, something meant to make me laugh. But I know Richard’s history, and it’s too specific to be a joke. I clear my throat roughly, waiting for her to look up at me.
When she doesn’t, I call out to her, “Annaliese…”
She laughs awkwardly, face tilting up to the ceiling. “Whatever, sorry I made it weird. No more talking until I’ve had my coffee.” With that, she brings the cup to her lips for a long sip.
I know Richard’s first marriage ended in an affair, and I also know that affair was one of many. I haven’t asked him the details, and he never offered them. We don’t dwell on that part of his life. But to think he was arrogant enough, for one, to have multiple affairs, and then to attempt something with his daughter in the next room disgusts me.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
She huffs out a laugh. “Sorry I saw it, or sorry that I was the one that told my mom?”
I force out a heavy exhale as I lean back in my chair, bringing my hands up to rake through the sides of my hair. “Both. You know that it wasn’t right. It shouldn’t have happened, and definitely shouldn’t have happened like that.” She nods, but her gaze doesn’t meet my eye. I’ve already grown to respect Annaliese, first as a colleague, and even more as a person. “What you did took guts, I hope you know that.” She was the one that had to sever the first tie in her relationship with her father, and from what I can tell, she’s felt like shit ever since. “I agree though,” I tell her, circling back to our earlier conversation. “A love like Ryan and Lainey’s won’t experience that. A real man would never step out on his wife.”
My eyes flick up to Annaliese, waiting for her to pounce on my comment and tease me for getting mushy. Her eyes are on mine, and while we stare off, a mutual understanding passes between us. She doesn’t know it, but she and I were raised in completely different worlds. Yet somehow, we seemed to grow up with similar convictions.
I pull Annaliese’s schedule for the next week out of my bag and slide it across the desk to her.
“What does my dad think about the free clinic?” she asks, swiftly changing the conversation.
