Emery’s face is pure betrayal.
“He’s very excited to be here,” John-Henry says.“He changed outfits twice.”
“No, I surely fucking did not!”
At that point, Auggie’s trying to hide his phone next to him so he can record.Theo’s pretty discreet about it when he puts his hand on the phone and pushes it down.
Fortunately, the wait staff begins to bring out the food.It’s not plates of lukewarm salmonella; it’s decent, the kind of stuff you’d expect—a garden salad, chicken in some sort of white wine sauce, droopy asparagus.I hold one by the end, and it looks just like a limp dick, and Emery’s face gets redder and redder.
It’s too easy sometimes.
“They’re all homosexuals.”Sam’s gran is leading June Louise through the tables.Gran’s had a perm done, and she’s wearing a pink caftan that clashes with her red hair.“The whole lot of them.”She sounds a bit unsure, though, as she adds, “Except for the bis.”
Sam groans.
“What the ever-loving fuck?”Emery asks.And not quietly.
“Ree,” John-Henry says.
“Sammy,” Gran says as she swoops in to kiss him on the cheek.“You look so handsome.And Gray, oh my Lord, you’re a dream.And you made me cry, too!”That’s when I get a kiss on the cheek.
Auggie’s trying to get his phone up again.
There’s this website called DaddySpankz, and I decide I’m going to send it to Theo.
I’m so caught up in this thought that I almost miss the fact that June Louise is bussing Emery’s cheek, and Emery’s face is scarlet.
“Hello, Miss June,” he mumbles.He sounds like a middle-schooler trying to explain his hand down his pants when he says to the rest of the table, “A friend of my mother’s.”
“Sam,” John-Henry says, and he’s grinning, “why don’t you introduce us?”
Sammy shoots him a look that I don’t think he would have dared a few weeks before, but he makes the introductions.
“My Sammy thinks the world of you,” Gran says to John-Henry.“I can see why: you’re easy on the eyes.”
Sam looks like he’s about to burst into flames.
“What a ringing endorsement, John,” Emery says.“He picked you as a mentor because of your bone structure.”
“Oh God,” Gran says.“You’re exactly like your father.Boy, howdy, did I have the hot pants for him!”
I’m sure I’ve seen Emery speechless before.But it’s never been quite so satisfying as right now.Even June Louise looks like she’s about to laugh.
Eventually—unfortunately—Sam sends Gran packing.Auggie looks like he’s dying from trying not to laugh—and from his missed opportunities—and Theo is trying not to grin.But he’s clearly more of an adult than the rest of the fucks-for-brains at this table because he’s the first one to really talk to Sam.
“It’s nice to meet you, Sam.I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“Nice to meet you, too,” Sam says.He doesn’tactuallysaysir, but you can hear it hanging in the air.
“I understand you’re with the police too.”
“Yes, sir.”
It must have slipped out, I decide.But the way Auggie’s grinning tells me he didn’t miss it either.
“And you’re going to be a detective.”
“Another gay detective,” Emery says.
