It sounds stupid as soon as it leaves my mouth, but Sam is already nodding, face brightening.“I know, I know.Me too.”
“Sorry,” I say, “hold on, you’ve got something—” I reach out a hand.Sam doesn’t pull back, but in the last instant, he must realize what’s happening because he braces himself.I brush an invisible—okay, imaginary—something from his cheek with my thumb, and then I smile and say, “Got it.”And before he can do anything, I add, “You have gorgeous eyes.”
God, if you want to see a boy turn red.
And then—in what I would have called, in a police report,belligerent confusion—he says, “What do you think you’re doing?”
“Flirting with you.”
He grips the edge of the table with both hands, and it takes him longer than I expect before he says, “Why?”
“Well, the fake dating thing.But also because it’s fun.We’re having fun, right?This is probably the best conversation we’ve ever had.You were relaxed right up until I told you I was flirting with you.You were making me laugh.You were even being a little bitch, which let me tell you: it’s my number one favorite thing.I was getting to know the real Sam Yarmark and not Mr.Somerset’s mentee who does everything by the book.And also, you do have gorgeous eyes, and I get the feeling you don’t get enough compliments.”
He sits there.His hands are still locked around the table, and he doesn’t do anything but breathe.
“Where are you at on a freak-out scale?”I ask.
“I’m not going to freak out.”
“Is that a one?A two?”
He doesn’t answer, but he does loosen his grip, and then his hands slide into his lap.
“All right,” I say.“There you go.Your first lesson in flirting.All done, and nothing bad happened to you.”I push my chair back.“I guess I should say sorry.”
It looks like it costs him something to say, “No.”
I wait.
“We were just talking, right?”
“Right.”
“And that’s the whole point.You just talk and have fun and see where it goes.”
“Yep.”
The struggle in his face would be funny if it weren’t so serious.And then, in a tone straining for casual, he asks, “Do you come here a lot?”
I’m surprised to find myself smiling.A big smile, one that stretches my cheeks until it hurts.“Not really.I don’t do the bar scene anymore.Not much of a player.”
The look Sam levels over his glass is frankly disbelieving.“That sounds exactly like what a player would say.”
I shrug.“I guess I’ll just have to prove it.”
8
Sam
I oversleep the next morning.Part of it is that we were out later than I’m used to.And part of it is the beers.And part of it is because I’m tired in a way I don’t totally understand.Something that doesn’t have anything to do with my body, but it feels like some muscle I haven’t used in a long time.And then, when I finally do wake up, I lie in bed for a while.The morning is already bright, and a cardinal is singing out in the trees, and I don’t want to move, don’t want to get out of bed, don’t want to go for a run.Just want to lie there for a while.
But I do go for a run.Because conditioning is an important part of a police officer’s job.
When I get back, Gran is getting home too.Her hair is mussed, and she’s trying to cover it with one hand, and her lipstick is pretty much gone, and when she sees me, she bursts out laughing and darts into the house.Sometimes, I think she thinks I’m the one in charge and she’s the teenager, like she’s going to get in trouble for breaking curfew.A voice inside me says she might think it’s funny if I tell her she has a curfew.And that little voice doesn’t entirely sound like me.It sounds like someone else I know.
I’m not working today, so after I shower, I throw on shorts and another sweatshirt.It’s the same brand as the one I wore the night before, but this one is oatmeal-colored, and I like how soft it is.I do some reading.Check over some of my homework before my next meeting with Mr.Somerset.It’s already finished, but I like to go back and read my answers and fix them up a little.Sometimes they’re not clear.Or sometimes I think of a better way to say whatever I’m trying to say.Sometimes they’re too long, and I don’t want to waste Mr.Somerset’s time.I wish everything in life was like that, so you could go back and do it over and over again until you get it right.
Like last night.
