1
Sam
You just have to get him to see you, I tell myself as I open my locker.That’s all.That’s easy.You can do that.
And then, about five seconds later, I decide I’m not even going to try.
It’s been like that all day.Some days in a patrol car, you get a lot of time to think.You sit there, and nothing’s happening, and there isn’t anything you can dobutthink.So, I think yeah, I’m going to do it.I’m going to walk right up to him and ask.And then I think, no, it’s not worth the risk.
So here I am, in the locker room, end of shift, and I’m still thinking about it.
Well, trying to think about it.It’s not like you can think real clearly with everybody else jackassing around.
The locker room isn’t like what you see on TV.Nobody’s singing in the shower.And it’s not like the guys are always in a good mood.Some days, everybody’s on edge.Some days, you know from how hard Foley closes his locker that you’d better zip your lips.
But some days—like today—they can’tstophorsin’ around.
McGown snaps his towel and misses me by an inch.
“Hit me with that,” I say as I pull out my civvies, “and see what happens.”
“I hit a kid once so hard in college—” McGown says.He’s standing there naked as a jaybird, twirling the towel.“—I made him bleed.”
He snaps the towel again.If anything, this time it’s even closer.
“Watch it,” Foley says as he pushes past McGown.Over his shoulder, he says, “You gonna stand there all day with your dick in the wind?”
“Course he is,” Norman says.Norman’s one of the guys who showers end of shift, no matter what.He comes out of the shower like a barrel.A wet barrel.Wrapped in a towel that’s not big enough.“He can’t jerk off until Mommy and Daddy go to bed.”
“Fuck you,” McGown says, but he laughs as he moves over to his locker.“I get more pussy than I know what to do with.”
“I bet,” Foley says.
“You got that right,” Norman says.
By this point, I’m pulling on a pair of khakis.And now I’m back to calling it quits on the whole thing.Dad says you stick your neck out, and you’re asking to get your head cut off.So, that’s that.I’m not going to stick my neck out.I’ll go home and forget the whole thing.
McGown won’t give up.“What the fuck do a pair of old fucks like you two know?You shoulda seen the ass I got last weekend.Biggest titties you ever seen.”
Norman snorts.He’s buck-ass now, not that it bothers him.Some guys, it doesn’t.He’s standing there, hand on his locker door, one foot up on the bench.It’s a lot to take in.He looks kind of like a statue if they took its pants off.“I saw her.Her tits weren’t that big.”
Foley’s sitting on the bench, but he stands up now and circles behind Norman.He wraps the older man in a bear hug.Norman grunts.“That’s because you got these big old beauties,” Foley says, grabbing at Norman’s chest.Norman’s laughing and swearing and trying to elbow him off.Foley hangs on tighter.Mr.Hazard calls him an Irish fuck, but most of the time, Foley’s like a kid whose body got too big.He’s pretending to kiss Norman’s neck, and Norman’s really swearing now.“What about it, mama?”Foley asks, grabbing Norman’s chest again.“You and me.”
The whole locker room is cracking up now, but I’m lacing my shoes because this is sexual harassment and if I weren’t trying to make an even bigger decision, I’d probably have to say something.
I’m back to yes now.I mean, why not?Gran says the worst anyone can do is say no, and I’ve heard no before.Why not ask?What’s it going to hurt?
You just have to make him see you.
“You got my sciatica going,” Norman is shouting, but you can tell he’s not really mad.He and Gross don’t always talk to the young guys, but sometimes they do, and I think they miss it, the old days, back when they were friends with everyone.
“What the fuck is going on out here?”Gross asks.He looks about the same as Norman, although he’s still got his towel on, and he always walks carefully in the locker room like he doesn’t want to put his feet down the whole way.Not that I blame him; the linoleum is probably as old as I am, and even though I know they clean in here every night, it neverfeelsclean, if you know what I mean.
“Bunch of jackasses,” Norman says as he bends over to get something out of his locker.
“Look at that beauty,” Foley says, and now he’s holding his hands like a camera frame centered on Norman’s ass.“Like a fucking black hole, drawing me in.”
McGown’s laughing so hard he’s leaning against the lockers.He’s still naked.He’s young.He’s in pretty good shape.You can tell he likes beer more than he likes running, but he’s still got some definition to his chest, dark hair between his pecs that runs down to his belly button.He keeps himself trimmed.Down there, I mean.He says it makes his dick look bigger, and I guess it does.Not that I look or anything.
