“Oh, Dottie,” I said.“Oh.”
(I know.Not great.)
“Is that a good thing?”I asked.“Is that a bad thing?”
“I don’t know.”And then, more urgently, “I don’tknow.I can’t think clearly, Dash.My hormones are so messed up.I cry all the time, and my boobs—”
“Uh.”
I got a watery smile in response.“Half the time I’m scared out of my mind, and the other half of the time, I’m excited and scared out of my mind.”
I thought about my wild-child sister, who’d never had a steady job, who’d never had her own apartment, who couldn’t stand to be in the same place for longer than a week.I thought about what having a baby would mean for her.And then I heard what she’d said.
“Wait,” I said.“Excited?”
She was crying again, but she smiled as she mopped her eyes.
“That’s great.Oh my God, that’s fantastic.”
“Uncle Dasher.”
“Oh no, definitely not.But Dottie, I’m so happy for you!”
“I’m glad someone is.”
“What does that mean?What did Mom and Dad say?”
“I haven’t told them.I don’twantto tell them.”
“Because you think they’ll be angry?”
“Because—because I don’t know how I want them to feel.But I know whatever they do is going to drive me crazy.”
“What did you say about hormones?”
That broke the tension, and we both laughed.
“Stay,” I said.“As long as you want.Please, I’d love to have you here.I’m sorry—I’m sorry we got off to a rough start.”
“I just need a little time to figure things out,” she said as she leaned in to hug me.“Don’t worry, I’ll get out of your hair soon.I actually don’t know how you’ve managed to stay here for so long.It’s beautiful, Dasher, but I saw the town—it’s tiny.I’d be bored out of my mind.”
I managed to keep a straight face.“You’d be surprised.”
Sheep in Sheep’s Clothing
This story takes place beforeAgain with Feeling.
1
In a movie, this would have been the establishing shot.A close-up.Black and white.The gritty noir sensibilities used to establish the broken world that we, the audience, had entered.It told us the stakes of the fictional universe we had entered—that this was a place where the worst crimes could be committed with impunity, where human life went unvalued, and a self-serving system kept corrupt men in power.
“Why are you staring at that empty plate?”Fox asked from the hallway.
“That empty plate?”I said.
Fox raised their eyebrows.
“That empty plate?”My pitch rose.“That empty plate is supposed to have cookies on it.My writing cookies.My reward for after I finish writing.”
