“Bobby,” I said, “we’ve got the whole thing planned out.It’s the best revenge, just like you said—we’re going to throw our own event, and it’s going to be ten times better, and we’re not going to invite Pippi.”
“That’s not actually what I said—” Bobby began.
“Indira’s going to cater,” Fox said, “and Millie’s going to help me decorate, and you and Keme are going to be wait staff.”
“Is that right?”
“And the anthology is going to be either neo-noir or cozy noir,” I said.“And the title is going to be ‘Crime on the Coast.’Maybe.”
“The nudity is going to be an eight out of ten,” Fox said.“Scratch that—nine.”
Bobby was silent for about ten seconds.And then he said, “Just to be clear, in this elaborate revenge fantasy, you’re going to host an event where Keme and I are waiters, Indira caters, and Millie does everything Fox doesn’t want to do.”
“Which is pretty much everything,” Fox confessed, “on account of ennui, fin-de-siècle, etcetera.”
Bobby, to his credit, just let that one slide past.“And what you two are going to do is—what exactly?Talk to some of your writer and artist friends?”
“And leave Pippi out,” I said.“That’s the most important part.”
Bobby kissed my forehead.“I’m going to bed.”
“Wait, what does that mean?”
“Goodnight,” he said over his shoulder.“I love you.”
“I love you too,” I called after him.
In the silence of Bobby’s wake, I glanced at Fox.
The look on their face matched what I was feeling.
“Is it just me,” I asked, “or did he make it sound like way too much work?”
5
The billiard room was dark, and on TV, the guy who kind of looked like Skeletor was talking about a murder.
“Is he Stabler?”I whispered.
“No,” Fox snapped.“Not every man on this show is Stabler.”
For over a year now, Fox had been after me to watchLaw & Orderwith them.And now here we were, and over the course of the weekend, we’d burned through two seasons.Because Fox was right: it was AMAZING.(Cue Millie-voice.)
Yes, my eyes had that kind of itchy heat that meant I’d been staring at a screen for too long.And yes, I was developing a certain stiffness-of-the-rump from so much sitting.And I vaguely remembered Bobby coming in several times that day to ask if I wanted to go—somewhere?And do—something?I think one time he asked me if I needed to pee.
“Oh my GOD!”(Millie voice again.) I grabbed Fox’s arm.I pointed at the TV.“That’s HIS WEDDING RING!”
With grim satisfaction, Fox said, “The very wedding ring he said he’d lost the night his wife was murdered.”
I repeat:Law & Orderwasamazing.
The latest suspect—I mean, he was obviously the killer if he’d lied about his wedding ring, unless another twist was coming up, which it probably was—was explaining how his ring had gotten traces of his wife’s blood on it when someone bumped me.
It registered, but only distantly.
Someone bumped me again.
I grunted and shifted over.Bobby sat next to me.
