“He was stealing vape pens from the students’ lockers,” Indira said.“And then forcing the students to pay to have them returned—or for him not to tell their parents.”
“Somehow, he got wind of a drunk driving accident Raymond had in Clatsop County,” Fox put in.“He used that as leverage, and Raymond made him a copy of the master keys for the lockers.”
“And nobody was stealing Keme’s lunch,” I said, “except Keme.That’s like an Agatha Christie plot.”
“Was she an idiot?”Keme asked.
Nobody seemed to know what to say to that.
We were approaching Keme’s environmental science class when I said, “I could show you how I make my world-famous Dash sandwich.I mean, if you want.”
“That’d be all right, I guess.”
“Then you could make them for Millie.”
He shrugged.But a few seconds later, he said, “Yeah.”And then, evenlater: “Thanks.”
“The secret is to crunch up the chips small but nottoosmall.”
He grunted.
“And while I’m showing you,” I said, “you can tell me about Tori.”
Horror filled his face.
I couldn’t help it; I smirked.“Let me guess: she chases you on the playground and pulls your hair and—ah!”
That was when I screamed because Keme executed some sort of atomic wedgie—I swear to God, my underwear entered a quantum state, and my toes left the floor.
A look from Indira made him set me down, and when he went into his classroom, there was an unmistakable swagger to his step.
Fox said, “This is why we didn’t bring you with us.”
“And you deserved that,” Indira told me.
As I tried to free the remaining particles of my underwear, I said, “Totally worth it.”
Insufferable Geniuses
This story takes place beforeScript Swap.
1
The thing about living with other people, especially other adults, is that you have to handle situations delicately.Situations like—for example—a fair and equitable distribution of chores.
“It’s Dash’s turn,” Bobby said.
My.jaw.dropped.
Bobby frowned.“What?It is?”
And then he stood, picked up his glass and plate and flatware, and headed into the kitchen.Indira followed him, carrying her own dishes, and Millie too.Keme gave me a commiserating look—we had a silent understanding about chores—but he didn’t try to bail me out.
Fox had fallen asleep in their chair.
By the time I got into the kitchen, Indira and Keme and Millie were already leaving, and Bobby was looking at his phone.
I stared at the pile of dirty dishes.I thought about Fox, asleep in their chair.
