She’s gone before I can respond, her footsteps fading down the corridor after Emma.
Van clears his throat. “We can do this part without you. You should go after her.”
“I know.” I stare at the empty doorway, knowing he’s right, but still unable to move. “Just find me that property.”
30
EMMA
Brief hugs that end too soon. Forehead kisses when I want his mouth on mine. He’s holding back, and he won’t tell me why.
But enough is enough.
The cabin is warm. Natalie made sure of that before she left last night, stocking the firewood, leaving soft blankets draped over the couch, and filling the fridge with food I’ve barely touched. This place should feel like a sanctuary, a cozy little space at the edge of the security compound with its crackling fire and hand-stitched quilts.
Instead, it feels like a waiting room. I’m safe now, but I’m still alone, and now that I’ve met Bodhi, the hollow ache deep inside feels even worse.
This bed is too big. I lie on one side, leaving space for a body that never comes, and stare at the ceiling until exhaustion drags me under. When I wake, I reach for him automatically, but the cold sheets beneath my palm remind me all over again, with devastating brutality, that he’s not there.
The mate bond Natalie described isn’t abstract anymore. It’s a hook buried under my ribs, tugging constantly toward him. Awrongness that grows sharper every hour he stays away, along with the nagging feeling that this isn’t how it should be.
He promised me a future. A family. After spending most of my life with only Jake, after losing everyone else, he dangled this vision ofbelongingsomewhere in front of me, but now it feels like all of that’s slipping away.
I’m sitting on the porch, hands wrapped around a mug of coffee that’s gone cold now, when Natalie’s boots crunch across the gravel path. The compound is already waking up behind her; a distant rhythm of voices and slamming doors drifts from the main building. Men in dark tactical gear cross the parking lot, heading toward the warehouses. Someone laughs, the sound easy and uncomplicated, and the normalcy of it makes me ache.
She trades my cold mug for a steaming replacement in a takeaway cup and settles into the chair beside me, tucking her legs beneath her. “You look like you slept about as well as he did.”
I wrap my hands around the new mug, letting the heat seep into my fingers. “He’s not sleeping?”
“He’s going to collapse if he keeps pushing this hard.” She takes a sip of her own coffee, watching me over the rim with those dark eyes that remind me so much of her brother.
“He never came to see me.”
I feel weak being upset about a boy after everything I’ve been through. I should be grateful to be alive, relieved my ordeal is over, and focus on getting back to my normal life, not pining for a man who’s avoiding me.
Natalie tilts her head back a little and sniffs the air. “Yes, he did. He just didn’t let you know.”
Swivelling in my seat, I follow her gaze to the dense scrub behind my house. “He was stalking me?”
Although it fits with his MO. I shouldn’t be so surprised.
She shakes her head. “Guarding you.”
I scoff. “But he can’t say hello or guard me from inside?”
“He thinks he can’t.” She tips her head toward the main building, a strangely appealing mix of red brick, steel, and glass. “That this isn’t over, and you’re still not safe, until he finds Dimitri. He’s stuck in over-protective alpha mode. Afraid of what he might do if he loses control.” She gives me a sympathetic smile. “And he’s stubborn as a bear.”
I stare down at the dark surface of my coffee, watching the steam curl upward and dissipate. Part of me wants to stay here, wrapped in this blanket, nursing my wounds in private, but the bond tugs insistently, and I’m sick of everyone else deciding my fate.
Jake, Kozlov, Ashworth, and now Bodhi.
“Go,” Natalie says, holding out a hand for my coffee cup. “Don’t let him hide behind work.”
I’m not sure what I’m going to do or say, but I’m so starved for even a glimpse of him I set down my mug and push myself up before I can overthink it.
“Training yard. Keep left and follow the fence.”
The yard sits behind the main building, a contained area with weights and heavy bags, and enough open space for sparring.
