“No,” he says, a little too fast. “They just don’t want to be on camera.”
“At least, not without their teeth,” Brian adds. “But yes. Private, too.”
I throw my hands up.
Zac jumps in beside me, loops the tux tie around my neck, and squares me in front of the mirror, bare chest and all. “Relax, big guy. Not everyone is private. Just a few ultra-high rollers.”
“The octogenarians?” I growl, unamused.
“Or possibly the celebrity types,” Zac says. “Sure, they might pay a pretty penny to indulge in some man candy”—he gestures at my crotch—“but no one wants to be caught on camera with a death grip in the Nutter Butter jar.”
My face falls. “Are you seriously telling me I’m about to be… Spotified?”
Brian tilts his head, thinking. “More like trending on OnlyFans.”
“What the hell is an OnlyFan?”
They stare. Brian smirks, “Think of it as a subscription service, Disney Dad.”
“It’s very exclusive,” Zac points out. “Very… interactive.”
The fact that they’re both barely containing their laughter again ensures I will be googling it the second they leave.
He musses my hair. “With your looks and killer dad-bod, women will be licking screens worldwide.”
“Men, too.” Brian waggles his brows. “Good thing someone manscaped.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Get. Out.”
Brian salutes as he heads for the door. “On behalf of the troops, we thank you for your service.”
“I expect hazard pay, a chopper on standby, and, if it goes to hell, a medal of valor. Full. Fucking. Honors.”
He rubs his chin. “There’s a medal for fucking honors?” He shakes his head. “I was in the wrong service.”
Zac checks his watch. “You’ve got fifteen minutes.” Then he taps another straw of sugar on my chest. “Somewhere, there’s a Pixie Stick with your name on her.”
“Out!”
He tucks it into my pants pocket as they shuffle off.
CHAPTER 14
Harrison
For a while, I sit and I give the tux a long, hard look and scowl.
It’s custom-tailored. Matte black. Satin lapels sharp enough to cut.
Hannah picked it out and made me suffer through three fittings. Three.
What is this? The Oscars?
I hate everything about it.
The cufflinks.
The non-flannel fabric.
