More than I thought I would.
Now that we’ve agreed not to see each other again, I’m annoyed. It’s the right move, because we both have a lot to lose, but it shouldn’t be like this.
A sense of shame crawls through me.
I did something similar to my sister and it feels like fate is bringing the bad karma back around. I tried to keep her from dating one of my teammates—my friend and roommate—and it turns out he’s a good guy, one who makes her happy and is taking care of her now. If she hadn’t stood up to me, they wouldn’t be together, and where would the three of us be now?
Overall, I didn’t have a good season last year.
I was distracted. Anxious to prove myself but so deep in my own head I was basically self-sabotaging. The pressure and spotlight got to me. I couldn’t make anything happen on the ice and that’s a big reason why I was picked up by Atlanta. Coach Morrison is known for being tough on young or struggling players, good at molding them into who and what they should be on the ice. That’s why he’s here and I’m sure my lackluster performance is part of why they chose me, along with all my so-called untapped potential.
I can’t fuck that up becausethisis my shot at the big leagues.
So even though the man in me wants to fight for the chance to see Jayne again, the hockey player in me knows it’s better this way.
It’s not like I’m in love with her.
Hell, I barely know her.
And she was right that there will probably be lots of fish in the sea once hockey season starts.
The trouble is, I worked hard this summer, both physically and emotionally, not to be that guy anymore. The one who sleeps around and isn’t interested in anything long-term. I’m trying to be better. Not that I’m in a rush to settle down, but it would benice to be with one person for a while, at least get a feel for what a serious relationship is like.
I thought Jayne might be someone I could do that with.
Now it’s back to the drawing board.
“Guess what?” West interrupts my thoughts.
“Huh?” I look up, startled.
“Dude, you were a million miles away.”
“Yeah.” I shake my head ruefully. “Anyway, what’s up?”
“Coach said the rookie, Blaze Villaverde, is going to be moving in here, with him and his family. So, I’m going to tell Felix and Simon they can move in with us. What do you think?”
“Five guys in one house,” I say, chuckling. “It’s going to be busy.”
He shrugs. “It’ll be nice to have company. I mean, Vik barely talks. You’re always off doing something. I think we’ll be fine. And if it’s too much, we’ll reassess once the season is over. For now, it’ll be party central.”
“Sure. Cool with me.”
“You okay?” he asks after a beat.
I glance around to make sure no one is close enough to hear us. “Remember the pretty librarian? The one I met at the DDS? It’s Jayne.”
“Jayne?” He pauses and then his eyes widen. “Ah, shit. Coach’s daughter? The one you went into the pool with?”
I nod.
“Oh, hell, buddy.” He grimaces. “That’s unfortunate.”
“Tell me about it. And make sure you don’t let anyone know she and I met before. Coach already gave me the ‘my daughter is off-limits’ speech. I mean, it was vague and laced with humor, but his meaning was crystal clear.”
“Right. Well, I’m certainly not going to say anything.”
“Figures the first interesting woman I meet turns out to be someone I can’t have.”
