“I know.” She swallows. “But it’s a lot to ask for someone to take care of your child for six months. Maybe more. There’s no guarantee I’ll get out early.” She clears her throat. “And when I get out, it’s going to take me a while to get back on my feet. I’ve never had a real job, so I’m not sure where I’ll be able to work. So, it’ll probably be more than a year that you’ll have her.”
“That’s not a problem,” I say quickly.
“I don’t know what’s going to happen with your dad after…all of this. He’ll be in prison longer than I will, though.”
“Does Lindy know?”
She shakes her head. “No. I didn’t know what to tell her. It’s been overwhelming, and I think it’s just better if she stayswith you from now on, even though my sentence won’t start for another month.”
“Okay. Whatever she needs.”
She uses both hands to massage her temples. “I’m sorry,” she says finally. “I know we’ve never gotten along, but I appreciate you always being there for Lindy. She loves you and feels safe with you, and that’s all I want for her.”
“We’re going to take care of her.”
“I know.” She looks around. “Is there anything you want? I know the two of you are looking for a house. We’re going to sell most of the furniture, but if you wanted to take Lindy’s bedroom furniture, or even the kitchen stuff—it’s not going to bring in enough money to make a difference.”
“Don’t you want to save any of it for when you get out?”
She shudders a little. “No. I don’t want anything to do with any of it. I’m going to try to start fresh. I, um, have a bunch of Lindy’s things—like her baby book, the blanket my grandmother made her before she died, a few personal items of mine. It’s just one box. Would you be willing to keep it for me? I don’t have anyone else…my mom doesn’t have room.”
“Of course,” I say smoothly. “I think we could really use the kitchen stuff.” I glance at Bodi and he nods.
“Thank you,” he says.
“I’ll be here the rest of today and all day tomorrow, getting my affairs in order. I’m going to go see my mom before I go in…she’s in Wisconsin and she doesn’t fly.” Lourdes tells us a few other inconsequential details, but it seems like she needs to keep talking, so we let her.
“I’m going to call a few of the guys,” Bodi says to me. “See if they can bring their trucks over so we can pick up Lindy’s bedroom set and whatever else you want.”
I walk over to the cabinets and stare at everything.
This is huge for us.
Beautiful china and glassware. Every appliance known to man. Silverware, pots and pans, even place mats and potholders. Literally everything we’d possibly need. Probably more since I don’t know how to cook many things. Bodi and I are actually going to take a cooking class this summer, and West promised to teach us some basics beyond boiling pasta and mac and cheese out of a box.
“There are boxes in the garage,” Lourdes says after a moment.
“Thank you,” I say sincerely. “I’m sorry you’re going through this.”
She waves a hand. “I did it to myself. But I always land on my feet. This time was just a much harder lesson to learn. My only regret is Lindy being in the middle of it.”
“Lourdes…” I pause, unsure how to phrase what I’m about to say. “Look, I know this is difficult, but Lindy isn’t a baby anymore. You can’t just pop in and out of her life. You have to put her needs before your own, especially if you don’t know how you’re going to support yourself once you get out. Eighteen months from now, you can’t take her from her life here and move her to Wisconsin or something.”
Lourdes freezes, her eyes meeting mine.
For a moment, the old Lourdes is back, her expression hard and angry. Ready to fight. Then her eyes flutter closed and she takes a few deep breaths.
“I know,” she whispers. “I fuckingknowthat.”
To my utter shock, tears leak from her eyes and she swipes at them angrily. “I’m so upset with your father. He told me they would never know and once my interior design business took off, we could pay the money back. That it wouldn’t be a big deal but we needed to show the team that we deserved to be in this position. I thought he was charging a few things, like personal dinners and office supplies, to his business card, stuff like that—I had no idea he was actually taking money from one of the accounts they set up so he could get things ready for hockey season.” She clenches her fists. “I love him, but he’s been a shitty husband and a really shitty father—and now not only am I going to prison, my daughter is going to suffer. I’m so fucking mad at him!”
“I heard he had a nervous breakdown,” I say softly. “I guess he got overwhelmed.” I’m not letting him off the hook either, but the situation did seem to overwhelm him.
“Yeah. I knew it was bad when…he slapped you.” She finally looks at me. “I know I’m no saint, but I’ll never condone physical violence. He really went over the edge. I guess he’s getting help now.”
“I can’t help you with any of the stuff with my dad,” I say in a firm but gentle voice. “But your daughter is not going to suffer. I’ll make sure of that. Bodi and I love her—and so do all our friends. The boys are Uncle West, Uncle Simon, Uncle Viktor… She’s learning Russian, by the way.”
Lourdes snickers through her tears, managing a small smile. “That’s great.”
