I sit up and finish off my drink, setting the empty glass down on the side table. “I was sitting here, having a quiet drink alone, and she came into my study. She said she heard a noise when she was wandering the palace. I invited her to join me, and I asked her about the children and how things are going there. She said she’s very happy being here. Then she asked why I seemed distracted, and I told her I was thinking about you, which was the truth, and then she asked why Rowan ran out of here today and I didn’t give her anything other than to say he’s attending to a family matter. That’s everything.”
She folds her arms over her chest, resting them on the top of her growing belly, her hair sleep-mussed and her eyes angry.
“You talk to her, and you don’t talk to me.”
I turn back to the fire because that’s fair.
“What’s going on between the two of you?”
I stand up quickly, my eyes all over her, annoyed by the accusation in her tone. “There’s nothing going on between me and Charlotte. Absolutely nothing. I promise.”
The flickering firelight casts shadows across Bellamy’s face,accentuating the lines of distrust etched there. She studies me with a probing intensity, as though she can see straight through me, and I’m left feeling exposed and vulnerable under her scrutiny.
“Where are you?” she asks, her voice breaking. “Because you’re not with me. And then I find you sharing a drink with her in the middle of the night in your study.”
“I have a lot on my mind, and she found me here. That’s all.”
She scoffs. “A lot on your mind? You don’t say? See, I wouldn’t know anything about that because you don’t talk to me anymore.”
“What do you want me to say?”
“You were living again. We took the children out. We had a life starting, and now you’re pulling away and shutting it all down.”
My hands hit my hips. “That doesn’t mean I’m having an affair with the nanny.”
“Again, you mean.”
I give her a dangerous look. “That’s not fair. I fell in love with you. I couldn’t stop myself when it came to you. I have no physical or emotional attraction to Charlotte.”
“I don’t know what to believe anymore. I catch you sharing a midnight drink with her when you know I’m asleep, and then she makes it sound almost as if she’s covering up for what you were both really doing and talking about. I’ll be honest, you both looked damn cozy doing it.”
“Please, Belle,” I implore, taking a step toward her. “You have to trust me. I would never betray you.”
She regards me for another tense moment, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. “Is this how we’re going to be? Is this how youwantus to be?”
“No. Not even a little. But I don’t know how to be any other way right now. I’m trying to protect you.”
“If you truly believe in this curse then it’s already too late for that.”
Her words are like a slap to the face and a punch to the gut. “Don’t you think I know that?!” I yell only to blow out a harsh breath, my hands scrubbing up and down my face in frustration. “I know it’s too late and I don’t know how to fix it.”
“Well, while you’re stewing over something that might not even exist, I’m losing my husband. I need you and you’re not here with me, but worse, you don’t want to be. But that’s only with me, isn’t it? I’ve seen you with the children. I’ve seen you with your brother and Althea and now Charlotte. You’re engaged. You fucking talk. But not to me. Not anymore.”
Then, with a choked sob, she whirls around and storms out of the room, slamming the door behind her.
“Wait!” I cry, flying after her. But it’s too late. She’s already gone, swallowed by the darkened halls of our palace.
I stand alone in the dim corridor, my heart pounding in my chest, my breath catching in my throat. I want to chase after her, to wrap her in my arms and assure her that she’s the only one who holds my heart.
But I can’t make myself do it.
And I hate myself for it.
As the echoes of her footsteps fade, my thoughts spiral into a vortex of confusion, regret, and desperation. How can I mend what has been broken when I don’t even know where to begin? When I’m the one breaking it.
The weight of my uncertainty settles heavily upon my shoulders, a burden I can’t shake or escape. But as I stare down the long, empty hallway, I know I can’t lose her either. It’s the thing I fear most, and yet that’s exactly what I’m on the brink of. Losing the woman I love most. Forever.
28
