“I don’t need the hospital?—”
The beast growls at me. “I can’t bear the thought of anything happening to you or our unborn children. It’s not a choice.”
Then he’s standing and lifting me again, carrying me with quick strides toward the garage just as another cramp hits me.
24
BELLAMY
The entire ride to the hospital, I’m forcing myself to think about dinner. About the fact that the children called me Mommy. Anything other than the pain in my ankle and occasional cramps shooting through my side.
Sebastian is quiet, focused on the road, his hands gripping the steering wheel like he’s ready to tear it from the car and chuck it a hundred miles. I don’t know what to say. What to do. I’m scared, but…and maybe he’s just scared too. Maybe that’s all this is.
“Everything will be fine.” And I realize I’m saying the words as more than simply a statement. It’s a prayer. It’s a plea for both of us.
“You’re having doubts, my queen.”
I both love and hate how well he reads me.
“I’m trying not to, but we have to stay positive.”
He sucks in a breath, tragedy mangling his features. “I love you.”
“I love you.”
Another breath. “I’m sorry.”
I shake my head, unable to handle that. “Don’t. Don’t do that.”
His jaw locks, his eyes trained on the road. “Tell me you don’t feel it. Tell me how it’s not real.”
My chin trembles, my fists balling up as another cramp hits me. I’m only sixteen weeks along. “There is no curse.”
He gives me a sympathetic, sad grin. “I once believed that. Even after my father was murdered, practically before my eyes. Even as Desta was gone. Then Nora’s helicopter dropped out of the sky right in front of my children.”
I shake my head again, unable to handle this. “That was Samil who did that. Not a curse.”
“Samil was part of the curse. He killed Nora. Nearly killed you. Nearly killed me.” He drags a hand through his hair. “When I woke up and saw you standing by my bedside, I would have sworn it was gone.”
“And now?”
“Now I don’t think there’s any getting rid of it. And I fear its vengeful talons are anxious to strike at us once more.” He breaks as he says that. Breaks right here in front of me. This man, the strongest man I’ve ever known.
This curse…it’s not a thing. It can’t be a thing.
But…more than once as of late, I can’t stop myself from allowing the thoughts to leak through. After my father died, I couldn’t stop it. I shake that off. No. I can’t do that.
“People slip, Sebastian. People fall all the time.”
“I should have never brought you into my life.”
And just like that, my heart fuckingbreaks. Itshatters.
Because I knew it. Somewhere deep inside of me, I knew he believed that. I knew part of him regretted me. I saw it in his eyes when my father died, and I saw it just before when I was sitting on the kitchen floor. He thinks this curse is coming for me and he blames himself for that.
He blames himself for all of it.
I turn toward the window, no longer able to speak or stop the tears as they fall. The pain in my ankle has nothing on the pain slicing at my heart.
