I fall back against the seat, staring sightlessly toward the front of the plane, utterly floored. “When will you know if it’s her blanket?”
“It’s her blanket,” he says with assurance. “It has to be. It has our family’s crest on it in gold and silk. It’s not something anyone would make a replica of. Certainly not after she wasstolen with it.” He clears his throat and moves our joined hands to his lap, urging my attention back to him. “Rowan is a mess.”
“How do you mean?”
“He’s been searching for Desta for years. More so than any of us. Rowan was twelve at the time and heard the intruders. He woke our father instead of alerting the royal guards who were stationed around the palace. He’s blamed himself for our father’s death and Desta’s kidnapping since.”
My heart sinks. “Poor Rowan. I had no idea.”
“No one knows but us. Still, she’s been gone from us for a very long time, and this might very well all lead nowhere.”
“Or be the start of finally finding her.”
“I hope so.” He kisses me softly. “For now, there’s not much else to do but wait and focus on your father.” His fingers thread through my hair and he kisses me deeper, slipping me some tongue until I push him back.
“No more making moves, Your Majesty. I’m too worked up.”
He licks the seam of my lips. “I like you worked up.”
“Different kind of worked up. I’m edgy and I don’t like it.”
He gathers me in his arms. “I can see that, my queen. But rest assured, your father is in excellent hands and will be just fine.”
Only I can’t help the part of me that isn’t so sure.
First my father’s wrist, and now this blanket. I never believed in the curse, and I’m certainly not saying I do now, but something feels off. Like a panic attack in the making. Like control is slipping through my fingers, and I’m simply trying to compensate. Even in my own mind.
I had the same feeling the night Sebastian proposed. The night Samil took me.
A foreboding.
An if something feels too good to be true, it likely is.
Something didn’t feel right that night, and something doesn’t feel right now.
It’s so unlike me. I’m never dark. I’mneverdark. I’m forever the levelheaded Bellamy. Bright and shiny. A focus on what you can control and don’t obsess over what you can’t woman. I’m the one who compartmentalizes. The one who sees a situation for what it is and navigates through it.
That’s been my strength. My go-to.
And it’s what I’ll have to rely on now.
So I do my best to push the darkness away and concentrate on what’s in front of me.
“When is your next doctor’s appointment?” he asks, changing the subject as the plane already begins its descent. Despite feeling on edge and worried about what I’ll step into with my father, I’m excited to see the children, Althea, and even Rowan.
“Two weeks. I have an ultrasound and some blood work I’ll be doing then. Despite my young age, they do genetic screenings at this stage of pregnancy.” I pause and say, “I don’t want to find out their gender.”
“No?” For some reason that surprises him. I know he’s been anxious to find out, but…
“I like the idea of a surprise with this. I feel like that’s a moment we’ll only get once, and I don’t know…it just feels special that way.”
“But what about the nursery?”
I shrug. “We can go gender-neutral for now and, if we choose, update it after they’re born.”
He plays with my long dark hair and claims my lips with his, his tongue immediately demanding access I’m all too happy to give. “I’ve already had three children. I knew their genders each and every time. But this is your first time and I want it to be everything you’ve ever dreamed of. Okay?” he rasps against my lips. “We’ll be surprised.”
“Thank you.”
