“And we not going over there when we get off the boat, either,” she fussed.
“Shitttt! I already texted Dionne. I told her as soon as we dock, I’m going to come over there for a little bit to see my boy. I ain’t see him in a little minute,” I said, lying through my teeth.
“Dionte, we were just over there last night!” she got on me. I chuckled. I just couldn’t get enough of that little boy.
“Why you so opposed to us having another one? We only fifty- five. You don’t even look your age, so if people see you out and about, while carrying a child, they not going to think anything of it. Let’s just have one,” I was damn near begging, andjust like any other time that I said that, she looked at me like she wanted to slap the shit out of me.
I knew damn well that Nette wouldn’t give me another baby. I swear I only said that shit to get up under her skin.
“There you go. You fuck up my day when you say that shit, Dionte!” she snapped at me.
“Yeah aight. I don’t fuck up shit,” I spat, picking her up, so that I could carry her back over to the lounge chair that I had been lying on.
I sat us down, keeping her in my lap. She was straddling me, looking down at me, as the palm of her hands rested flat on my hard chest.
“I haven’t been this happy in a long time. Even throughout all our bullshit, and the way we used to argue while you were locked up, I’ve always been praying for you, hoping that you would get your chance to come home. Our daughter is finally complete. She has her daddy, her son, and her husband. I love that life for her, D,” she let me know, saying all of this with a smile on her face.
“I love it for all of us. You ever thought that you would be fuckin me again?” I wanted to know, and she laughed.
“No. I actually didn’t,” she was dead serious with her response.
“Why not?” I asked.
“I never double back, especially with any of my baby daddy’s. What’s in the past has always remained in the past,” she said, and like it was bullshit, I sucked my teeth.
“Me, and them niggas not the same. I was your first. I’m the head baby daddy. All the shit you were probably doing with them… I taught you that shit!” I spat, picking a hand up, and slapping her on her ass.
She laughed, like she wasn’t trying to entertain any of the shit that I was saying. From there, I had her lean in, where shesloppily kissed me for about two minutes straight. When she was done, she pulled back, laid her body on top of mine, and I just caressed her ass, as the boat continued moving, and we finished soaking up this beautiful view.
I made some bad choices when I was young. Those bad choices stripped everything from me, making me serve a 37-year bid. Although I served that time, and I made it look easy, man that shit was hard. Antoinette will tell you that I wake up in cold sweats, and nightmares, having fears that I was getting sent back there. It fucked with my mind, but it made me the man that I am today.
I move different because of the time that I spent in prison. I don’t drink. I don’t smoke. I don’t party. I don’t even hang with the crowd of people that I did before I went in. My family were my friends.
The only thing that I wanted to do these days is do right by Antoinette. I gotta love this woman man. She deserves it. Our shit stopped years ago before it got the chance to fully start. I wanted to continue doing right by my daughter, being the father that she deserved. The time that we’d lost, I couldn’t get it back, but I was showing up now, and to me, that’s what mattered.
My grandson. Along with his father, I wanted to be that role model in his life. I didn’t want my grandson being a street nigga because the consequences that comes from living that lifestyle aren’t good. Seeing him, being able to pick him up any time that I wanted to, and sit in the backyard with him, were all reminders that my story didn’t end inside that fuckin cell.
My story is continuing its journey, and here I was, getting that second chance that I never thought I’d get.
Dionne Briggs
“Come here. Ride her over to me,” my husband called out to me, as he stood in the backyard, carrying lil Tank in his arms.
We were out back, and I was riding Noir. From the very beginning, Tank told me that he would teach me how to ride a horse, but I felt like the moment we got together, so many things kept happening in our life that I never really learned. Then, my ass got pregnant, and he didn’t want me learning at the time because he didn’t want me to fall off, and I harm the baby.
Our baby was a little over two months, and I was cleared by my midwife to get back to all activity pre- baby, and one of the things that I wanted to do was learn to ride horses. My man was the perfect instructor. His ass could be a little aggressive in his teachings, mainly because he was so passionate about horses, but he meant well, and he had me learning how to ride in one day. Since then, I really loved coming out back, and riding on Noir in the yard.
I slowly nudged Noir forward, guiding her towards Tank, and our son. When I approached, my handsome baby was chilling in his daddy’s big arms. His big eyes that resembled mine were on me, and if he could talk, I knew that he would tell me to get my ass off this horse, so that I could hold him. My baby was a mama’s boy already, just like I thought he would be. He loved his daddy too, though. The way Tank was holding onto him right now, cradling him in his arms, I promise that’s when he would be the happiest.
“You sitting too far back when you riding,” he said, walking over, and with his free hand, he went to adjust the reins.
“You need to relax your shoulders too. Keep your heels down like I taught you. When you moving, it shouldn’t feel like you moving her. You just guiding her. Stop trying to force that shit. Just sit back and relax. She can feel it if your nervous. When you trust her, she’ll respond better to you,” he said, rubbing the neckline on Noire, as he talked to me.
This man didn’t play about Noir, and I loved that. He kept her well-groomed, fed, and made sure that she had the best living conditions. Tank didn’t play about anyone, or anything that he loved though. The way he loved our son made me want to keep giving him more.
Lil Tank was cooing in his father’s arms, as he looked at me.
“You see your mommy? Mommy going to be a pro. I gotta give her a few more lessons, and then she going to be a beast,” he talked to lil Tank like he could understand him.
